she is a rebel.

I want porridge! XD

2007-10-28T00:30:00.000+08:00

I do not know what to blog but let me just type and type coz i just feel like typing. lol. I've been sick this last few days. Stress is such a bummer. I so much wanna enjoy going out since some of my friends way back from elem. school wanted to hang out some place tonight. But since i got work plus i don't really feel good now, im here typing and bored to death.

Im kind of busy too. Since im acting like a debut coordinator or something to my cousin. Well not really, but my cousin fishes her whole debutante ideas from me. Im making her invitations too which i will be posting after the event. Im being the good cousin going with her through all the shopping, making the guestbook (which we made from scraps so now it has turned into a guest/scrapbook), editing photos and all those shites. It's pretty tiring but i love love doing it. Im actually thinking of having my own debutante's consultant thing type of office someday *giggles*. And next week we'll be leaving for cotabato with my bro because the event is going to be held there. Too far but i hope it's gonna be vacation grande coz ill be there for more than a week. I hope i'll do more than my daily bike sessions. It's what i don't miss doing when im there.

Anywho, til the next entry. it's lunchbreak. rawr.

Technorati Profile

Come back and haunt me.

2007-02-17T14:45:00.000+08:00

Now im gonna start with my long and not-so-awaited comeback.Haha. I've been awfully lazy but busy these days that's why i can't even spare time to blog. You see i need to do this portfolio for a new job to feed me, my needs, wants and more wants. I lack so much inspiration these days that's why works sucky most of the time.

Hanmae's LIFE and SOCIAL SUPPORT Chart:

friends - 80% ( 50 percent of which is so much love from my online friends and 30 percent is from new buds and some close friends )
relationsip - 50% ( im on a cliff, mind you. don't ask for details. but yeah, sad to say for some but im still happily in love. geez. mushy. )
family - 50% ( if it's friendster, it's complicated. however i love 'em and that's for real kiddo's. )
other's - 75% ( because of these people im mean but triumphant, lost but driving a flashy red race car, crazy but not out of words. try harder? )

Right now im feeling sleepy. But here are some messages for my lovelies: (in phrases and short sentences or through famous lines and quotes)

DKEI --- Elle Woods: "whoever said that orange is the new pink was seriously disturbed" HAHA. Paopao! Have you read that b*tches definition of a poser? LOL. She thinks hiding through a username and sending her messages is POSING. HAHA. Seriously, she needs us. Not as strippers but as psychologists!LMAO. I hella miss you and thanks for being the meanest and bestest bud ever! lol. love yah.

HANNAH --- Old Klingon proverb: "Revenge is a dish best served cold" Shall i start thinking of the menu for "THEM" anak? Tell me and mom's gonna do it for you. But let's start the cooking together. Im thinking of [ HER ] tongue shredded with onions, the legs chopped and roasted with chili, baked saggy humps loaded with onions and more. Haha. Im so mean. But you up for it? :P

MARVIN --- The Bride: "It's mercy, compassion, and forgiveness I lack; not rationality." Haha. When i read this, your face actually popped out my head faster like zoom! Hmmm. More to say but im stuck. :)

FEI --- Christie Allen: "Save your strength sweetheart, big day tomorrow fighting daddy." LOL. You got this apo. =P

That's about it. Oh, anyone remember that movie THE LITTLE RASCALS? I watched it again and man, those kids are crazy! HAHA. I barely understood their lines and spiels before but right now they're not making me stop laughing! HAHA. I'll share some famous lines:

[Delivering Alfalfa's letter to Darla]
Buckwheat: Dear Darla, I hate your stinking guts. You make me vomit. You're scum between my toes! Love, Alfalfa.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Uh Huh: Actually, I've always had a rather extensive vocabulary, not to mention a phenomenal grasp of grammar and a superlative command of syntax. I simply chose not to employ them.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Alfalfa: Then the clouds opened up and God said, "I hate you, Alfalfa!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Rascals: [singing] We are he-man woman haters/ We feed girls to alligators/ Our clubhouse burned down mighty low/ But we've got a plan to make some dough!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Buckwheat: Quick, what's the number for 911?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mr. Welling: If you were my kids, I'd punish you.
Stymie: If we were YOUR kids, we'd punish ourselves!

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Waldo: We just moved into town. My father bought the oil refinery.
Darla: That explains why you're so refined!
Alfalfa: Yeah, and so oily!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Stymie: Porky, you sure know how to make a sand-wich!
Porky: That wasn't sand, that was kitty litter.
Buckwheat: Don't worry, it's pretty fresh.
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Stymie: I... Stymie... Member in good standing of the He-Man Woman Haters Club... Do solemnly swear to be a he-man and hate women and not play with them or talk to them unless I have to. And especially: never fall in love, and if I do may I die slowly and painfully and suffer for hours - or until I scream bloody murder.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Alfalfa: Normally I'm a lover, not a fighter, but in this case im willin' to make an acception.

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Stymie: You only meet your once in a lifetime friends... once in a lifetime.

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Kids those days. I'll sure make a bunch of them with my future hubby. lmao. Tata!

FORGET ABOUT SUPERMAN, SUPERHAN RETURNS TOO.

2006-06-25T03:37:00.000+08:00

Oh wow, its been eons. asdpfojsapgnadknfaisdad , yeah , you got that right, im hella bored thats why i remembered i still have an old blog to update since i do not want to abandon this one for mem`ries sake. I still have no idea what id do with this, but yeah, surely ill think of something ( when im not lazy.lol), and ren would pop out of nowhere and say " HANNAH MAE, TELL ME, IS THERE A TIME WHEN YOU ARE NOT LAZY? ". lmao. Ren, count on those special moments, MY LAZY-SEXY ASS SHALL WORK OVERTIME. haha!

BOOO! Twas fun re-reading my previous posts. haha! Holy molly! i couldnt help but laugh at myself. haha! IM SORRY "HANMAE" haha. But its cool, reminiscing the past. I was such an EMO-CRYBABY.LOL. I still am?lmao.

Oh well, a LOT has happened. I couldn't even start to tell you a single event coz i couldn't think of anything right now. Mr. Brainy's stuck up. Or. Im just thinking too much of...*inserts name here* haha! Pooo! For more of it read my other blog, ay, wtf?haha. I do not update so much there too. *batoks sarili* HANMAE, YOU NEED TO CHANGE. arrggh. I KNOW I KNOW. I WILL, TOMORROW. lmao. I shall stop procrastinating, il do my best to change, really, for now that'd be a mission and i shall call it..hmm.. "MISSION 1O1: DEATH TO MY MIDDLENAME" (FULLNAME: HANNAH MAE "PROCRASTINATION" DE GRACIA).haha! That didnt sound right but what the hell you know!. But im serious people! Really! =P

Anyway, so much for my so called comeback. I gotta snooze off now. An early start tomorrow!lol. Scratch that, its almost 4am, now is tomorrow!lol. Sucksball. o_O . Onto my next entry people! oh yessh, before i forget ...*group hug*

tata!

<3hanmae.

WHEN YOU GOT NO WORDS LEFT...

2006-04-05T23:20:00.000+08:00

moved to :

http://hanmae.pinaychiq.com !!!
http://hanmae.pinaychiq.com !!!
http://hanmae.pinaychiq.com !!!

update your links please.

-edit-

say it with pictures...

oh, shit. I know, i know. You don't have to say it. I look adorable diba?lmao.XDD. Yeah, i got the deal with MCDO and Greenwich man. Wtf? Congratulate me dudes im the new endorser! lmao.

Seriously, im just up to no good right now[cussing becomes my habit]. That's why im posting lies. Why lies? Those poses, all are lies, well not really all of it but for most part yes. I look so damn happy posing, grinning like an idiot and making faces. But guess what? What the hell am i happy for when i feel so down??? So yeah, im such a faker. A beautiful faker that is. Anyways, so much for that.

Other new things, I actually got hosted by LAINE. Omg. Can i huggle you again sis? *me huggles laine*. She is just the sweetest. Anyways, the site is still not up of course. I'll tell you when its done and for you to get the first prev.

And yeah, Im so sorry. This is so random. LMAO. OMG. Wait, see, see..Wtf? My eyebags! lol. Sobrang laki na! 5 days straight akong naging si Batgirl. Im asleep at day, awake all night.:))

HIGH!

HEAR YE! HEAR YE!

WHERE THERE IS LAI! THERE IS LOVE!

Salamat ulit sis. And shout outs to my Katropang GISING sa PINAYTALK. My daughtie MISSY, partner MIMI, Ate SCART, si LAI of course, si ninang SARJIE na namimiss na namen, si DENISE at sa iba pa dun.

at sorry ulit. So random. This is typed out of boredom. Wawa na kasi si bloggie, tagal ng walang update. Di nga talaga sana ako mag-uupdate. Kasi, ayoko yung ng uupdate ako just for the heck of it. Gusto ko may naisshare akong thoughts, o minsan kahit blabs lang pero yun yung nararamdaman ko talaga. Hayyerss. Anyways, im done with this. TATA!

and opps..i almost forgot. If you feel like i deserve it, please vote for me at twinnie ZIA's BITTERSWEET TEARS AWARDS. That is actually the first bloggy awards chuchu i joined. LOL. Just tryin. Anyways, ive missed you na twinnieee!..san ka na ba!

an empty soul, a lonely heart.

2006-03-31T02:01:00.000+08:00

and then it hit me...

JOURNEY TO THE PAST

Heart, don't fail me now!

Courage, don't desert me!

Don't turn back

Now that we're here

People always say

Life is full of choices

No one ever mentions fear!

Or how a road can seem so long

How the world can seem so vast

Courage see me through

Heart I'm trusting you

On this journey...to the past

Somewhere down this road

I know someone's waitingg

Years of dreams

Just can't be wrong

Arms will open wide

I'll be safe and wanted

Fin'lly home where I belong

Well, starting here, my life begins

Starting now, I'm learning fast

Courage see me through

Heart I'm trusting you

On this journey...to the past

Heart don't fail me now!

Courage don't desert me!

Home, Love, Family

There was once a time

I must have had them too

Home, Love, Family

I will never be complete

Until I find you...

One step at a time

One hope, then another

Who knows where

This road may go-

Back to who i was

On to find my future

Things my heartstill

Needs to know

Yes, let this be a sign!

Let, this road be mine!

Let it lead me to my past

Courage see me through

Heart I'm trusting you

To bring me home...

At last!At Last!

edit-

Ang hirap palang dumaan sa isang bahagi ng buhay mo kung saan nagiging clueless ka sa mga bagay bagay. I've never felt so lost in my life until now.

Sa dami ng bumabagabag sayo, dadating yung point na kahit gusto mong mag-isip mas pipiliin mong wag nalang. Tutunganga ka sa kawalan, listen to some feel good music pero wala ka naman talagang naririnig. Dadapa ka kama, titihaya ulit , tititigan ang kisame at paulit ulit mo yang gagawin.

Alam niyo yung feeling na ang dami mong dapat gawin pero when you try to think about it, mapapasabi ka nalang , ano nga ba talaga ang gagawin ko? Malilito ka na naman. Mawawala sa sarili, magmumukmok sa isang tabi, kukuha ng papel at lapis trying to do sketches or just write anything para gumaan ang kung ano mang saloobin mong di mo alam kung ano. Lilipas ang ilang segundo, nakakatitig ka na naman sa isang blangkong bagay, wala kang naisip iguhit o isulat man lang.

Hayy, i totally hate this feeling. Yung sobrang helpless ka tapos wala ka pang makapitan o kahit masandalan man lng. Nakakapanghina. Kaya kahit gusto mong magpakatatag at magpakatapang you'll choose to pretend nalang, magpakaplastik ika nga. Magkunwaring masaya, makitawa sa mga jokes na di mo naman nagets just so you let yourself know and feel na ok ka lng. Normal lang yan.

Ang weird talaga. Ang hirap. Bakit? Dahil sarili mo ang kalaban mo. Di mo alam kung san ka lulugar. Napapahinto ka. Pipikit, didilat ulit at mapapaisip. Ano nga ulit ang iniisip mo? Di mo rin alam. I feel like there's this huge hole inside me. I feel so empty, more like unwhole i think. Makakatulog ka sa kakaisip at di sigurado sa darating na bukas. Kung kalituhan at kaweirdohan na naman ba ang bubulaga sayo o ang isang panibagong bukas na magbibigay sayo ng pag-asa. *sighs*

SHRINK 101

2006-03-27T19:13:00.000+08:00

ito nga pala yung mga gifts at fansigns na binigay nila, click nyo nalang kung gusto nyong makita.

from ZEE, from MIMI , from te VAL , from te ROSE

maraming salamat ulet sa inyo.

edit---

BOMB # 1

Ilang araw ko nang sinusubukang gumawa ng entry pero sadyang di ko matapos tapos at bigla nalang akong napapahinto sa kawalan ng masabi. Therefore, nawawala na ako sa aking sarili. This soon to be shrink needs one for herself.

BOMB # 2

Sadyang bumabalik na naman ang aking pagiging makakalimutin sa ibang bagay. SABADO --- may lakad ako dapat with my friends, usapan namen mgvivideoke sa SM at mag uusap kung kelang ang next sched ng movie marathon day namen. Badtrip. Pati ba naman yun nakalimutan ko? Eh importanteng lakad yun para saken eh. Alam niyo ba kung ano ang ginawa ko? Nagnet ng magdamag. Hayy..*pokes herself*.*ouch*. MALALA NA TALAGA AKO.

BOMB # 3

Ahh..ehh..nakalimutan ko na naman sasabihin ko!!...wahhhh....*pokes herself again*

Grabeh. Ang gulo ko eh noh? Di ko pa kasi nareresolve lahat ng problema ko. Minsan nga parang di ko na alam kung ano yung problema ko kasi sobrang dami at di ko alam kung ano ang uunahin. Pasensya na talaga kayo. Di ko na kayo masyadong nadadalaw di gaya ng dati na halos araw araw talaga. Salamat nga pala kina ate VAL at ate ROSE sa mga cute gifts nila saken. Maraming salamat din dun sa mga ngcomment sa last post ko at kay twinnie ZIA at kay partner MIMI ng PINAYTALK sa mga fansigns na ginawa nila. LMAO. Parang ewan ako nito, pero twas so sweet of you. tata!

LOTS TO DO...SO LITTLE TIME...

2006-03-18T17:56:00.000+08:00

and im out of words...

I wanna say sorry to all of you and thanks sa lahat ng comments sa last post. Sorry na rin if i kept you waiting, pero wala pa rin akong ganang magkwento. Maraming nangyayari saken ngayon na di ko maintindihan kung bakit. Karamihan ay di kanais nais kaya kelangan ko muna ng time para magmuni-muni dahil medyo nawiwindang pa at kelangan ng alugin ng utak ko. Pero promise talaga, pag ok na ang lahat maraming marami akong kwento sa inyo. Kung gusto nyo man akong makausap nasa PINAYTALK lang naman ako. Lagi ako dun kasi kelangan ko ng makakausap. Ganyan ako kaproblemado ngayon. Buti nalang at masasaya ang moodiee ng mga tao dun. Wala tuloy araw na di ako napapangisi at kung minsan nakakalimutan ko ang mga problems ko. Salamat sa inyo.

BALAGTAS MINAMALAS.

2006-03-13T16:06:00.000+08:00

I have seriously gone mad. lmao. I guess i was forcing myself too much. I used to love writing poems but after "we" broke up, di na ulit ako ngsulat. It just stopped. I don't know, maybe i was just plainly stupid to believe that he was the only thing i could write about or love was the only theme there is. What do you think? Am i just stupid? Or turning to be one? Or just plain miserable? Oh well, whatever the hell happened, i hope i could come up with even silly, simple or i-was-just-trying-to-be-poetic rhymes coz i need it so badly for a project. Hayy, anyone wanna help this poor soul? Send your poems to gorjuzghurl@gmail.com . LOL. Nah, i was just joking. But i do accept fansigns. Lmao.

MY LESBO LOVER

Pabitin muna. I'll tell you all about her next time. haha.

CHAD-O-HOLIC NO MORE.

2006-03-09T17:03:00.000+08:00

Ok na ba? yay! Sorry guys, tinatamad talaga akong mag-update kaya edit nalang ako ng edit. Kasi naman inaayos ko pa tong blog kong sobrang gulo. LMAO. I'm using the layout i bought from IRISH. Akala ko nga matagal bago ko magagamit ang layout na to, kasi naman, nahold-up nga ako di ba? eh, alang money. Buti nalang sumweldo ulet ako! lol. Yung bigay nga sana ni CAMZ ang gagamitin ko, kaya lang di ko pa nagawan ng banner. huhuhu. Kaya eto na muna! Pero ang ganda niya di ba? The best talaga si IRISH! Maraming salamat sis. This was more than what i expected. Yay!. Pa girl muna ako ngeon!.lol. tata!

-edit-

Lmao. I was about to change my layout na sana, the one i bought from IRISH kaya lang bigla nalang akong nabadtrip. LOL. Can't tell you the reasons though. Baka bukas ko na siya mapapalitan. Yung haloscan lang ata ang napalitan ko. May banner na siya sa taas, if you've seen the banner ganyan rin ang theme ng next layout ko. Girlish colors ang i love it so much! Yung bigay naman ni CAMZ sa next ko na siguro magagamit. Kasi gusto ko munang magtry na mag iba ng theme ng layout. Pero i love black and white most talaga. Kaya baka isa sa magtatagal na layout ko yun. LMAO. Pero maganda talaga yung ginawa ni IRISH, ganda ng pagkablend ng colors at ng pics na ginamit. Basta. Watch out for it tomorrow nalang. tata!

- edit -

Yay!..Jhesca made me a new button pala! Here..

Cute diba? THANKS A LOT SIS!

-edit-

RANDOM STUFFS...

First off, i wanna say thanks to CAMZ. She made me an awesome new Ashlee Simpson layout which i love so dearly! Yay! The colors are fab! I'm definitely diggin it! And i suppose im gonna use it for eons. LMAO. I wanna show you the screenshot pero wag nalang muna. Antayin nyo nalang until gamitin ko siya. Soon.

Next up, I am so into PINAYTALK right now. I love the people there. It's super fun chatting with them!lol. Everyone's so friendly, the environment is great. So, be one of us ayt? And you'll have super cool online buds.

AND HE GOES AW..AW..

I thought he's gonna be TAMBOK all his life. Good thing my mom changed his name already. HAMTARO a.k.a. HAMHAM. It's from that early kiddie show my mom watches and i guess she's just so fond with the character.lol. Such a cutie i'd say. And im talking about a pup, not a hamster alright? I meant, our HAMHAM is a pup.lol

AND SO IT ENDS...

We talked already. Ako at si Chad. I feel so bad for not giving him a chance. I honestly don't wanna hurt him. I never ever imagined he'd get teary eyed when id spill the word "NO" to him. I just saw pain. Pure pain, that i almost cried and tell him i was just joking and then we could be together. I feel so guilty coz he said he was waiting for "us" to happen, pero binigo ko siya. I just don't wan't to be unfair. Im still full of uncertainties right now. Ang dami ko pang hang-ups sa buhay. There's like times that i don't even wanna decide just so i feel safe, secured. My life is badly broken, hardly any piece is left. Im still trying to get them all back and just be me again or someone anew but whole. Masayahing tao naman ako eh. Im just unsure if im really happy or just trying to be one. Which is which? Kahit ako sa sarili ko,minsan hindi ko na alam. Nalilito na ba kayo sa mga pinagsasasabi ko dito? lol. Ganyan ako kagulo at ang buhay ko ngayon. Ayoko munang mandamay ng iba. Gusto kong gawin to' all by myself and for myself na rin. Mahal mo ako? Maraming maraming salamat sayo. I know i am not worthy of it coz i can't even give it back to you, but im honestly so thankful. Alam ko, i might regret this in the future pero sabi nga ni Miss Vanessa, you're a star, shine someplace else, not in a dark cloud like me. Take care Chad and thanks for the hug. lol. And for the record, you've got a nice manly scent. The best i've smelled so far, way way better than Steve's. LMAO. [ Kung mabasa mo man to, dahil alam mo na rin naman ang blog ko, you must understand i tried Chad, I really did. ]

from the pages of my DIARY.

2006-03-06T16:55:00.000+08:00

March 6, 2005

1:45 AM

sofa/nood ng tv while writing

Jack, [wag na magtanong kung baket jack ang tawag ko sa diary ko. secret ito.]

Badtrip. Sobrang kabadtripan na naman. Katatapos ko lang kumain ng very very late dinner that could only pass for a late "midnight" snack too. Alam mo kung anong nakakainis? Gustong gusto kong kumain ng hard boiled egg kaya nagluto ako, excited pa. Ang nangyari after 20 minutes of waiting in vain --- wala akong nakain kasi nung biniak ko na yung shell di pa pala luto. Grrr. Buti sana kung di ako gutom! eh gutom na gutom ako eh. Kainis talaga. Sa susunod di na talaga ako magluluto nun! Hayyy...wait, excuse muna..may kumakatok eh.

Eto na uli ako. Si ate Love pala yun, late na rin umuwi dahil pumunta pa sa isang kaibigang namatayan ng tatay. RIP. Naalala mo ba nung namatay si CUZIN?[secret lang din ang name, wag nalang natin isulat dito sa blog.] Ngayon naaalala ko ulit. Sana ok na siya kung asan man siya ngayon di ba Jack? Mabait naman yun eh, i could say the world really lost someone there when he died. Sayang siya, sobra. Ang bata pa niya eh[14], marami pa siyang dapat malaman at madiskubre pero di na siya nabigyan ng chance. Pero masaya ako at naging pinsan ko siya at masaya na ako para sa kanya ngayon, kesa maghirap pa siya kung andito man siya. Di ba Jack?

Bigla ko lang din naalala, dahil sinabi saken ni ate Love. Nung huminto kasi yung jeep dun sa JY kanina, may napansin akong mga kandila dun sa pathway, may flowers din at may cross. Ang unang naisip ko, baka may pinatay na naman ang mga VIGILANTES. Tama nga talaga ako. Sabi ni ate, negosyante at druglord daw.tsk. Kahit naman mga big time criminals yung pinapatay nila, that doesn't make them heroes at all. The end doesn't justify the means. Ano sa tingin mo? Wait muna, kuha lang me tubig, nauuhaw ako eh. :]

What the? See the show?[sa DIYOS AT BAYAN ang name ng show] Ito pang isang nakakainis Jack. Andito na naman po kami. State of emergency na naman ang pinag-uusapan. Walang katapusan. Ang dami pang problema ng Pilipinas pero ito pa rin ang pinagtutuunan nila ng pansin. Bangayan na naman. The people in position are full of craps and im seriously so full of watching the same news over and over again. Gloria is just pure sh*tness and a selfish lying biatch. Poor phils. Badtrip rin itong si Gloria. Hayyy...

Ang daming nakakainis sa araw na ito Jack. Pansin mo ba?...hehe..Pasensiya na. Kanina naman, i was hoping magkakausap na kami ni "CHAD" [pinalitan ko yung name dito sa blog pero sa diary ko real name nakalagay, ewan nalang kung mabasa nya.lol] , pero hinde pa rin. Sabi ni Abby, nagkasalisi lang daw kami. Pumunta daw siya sa shop kaya lang di pa ako dumating. Hayyy...isa pa tong taong to, di ko pa alam ang gagawin ko sa kanya. Siguro kung noon pa siya dumating, wala ng isip isip, oo agad isasagot ko. Alam mo namang may iniisip pa akong iba diba? Gusto ko, when i start all over again, wala ng baggages from the past. Ayoko munang mag-isip. Pero sa totoo lang masaya ako kahit papano, kasi its good to know na may gusto pala siya saken. ;]

Anyways, I gotta sleep. Baka sobrang late ko na namang magising bukas. Night Jack. Talk to you some other time. And thanks.

<3>

Ayan, sa diary ko yan galing. Entry ko kagabi. Ala kasi masyadong ngyari saken the past days kaya yan nalang muna pinost ko. Kasi aside from blogging, nagsusulat talaga ako sa diary ko gabi-gabi. Nakasanayan ko nalang. Cge, bibisitahin ko pa mga blogs niyo. tata!

"I've got a CRUSH on YOU!" --- crazy me.

2006-03-03T15:27:00.000+08:00

Last night was unbelievable. Something unexpected. I mean, who would have thought that one of the few guys i adore, i meant--- he was one of those i was crushing on, reciprocated the same feeling?..well, i didn't!

I was in the comp. shop later that evening after class coz i still got work. Yes, i work in an internet cafe --- a typing job slash bores you to death. lol. So yeah, me and this cute guy, lets name him Chad. Why?..Coz he's got eyes like that of Chad Michael Murray --- expressive.

Chad was there because he's got some files to print and while waiting we had this lil chitchat. Everything went on like a normal convo. How are you's and stuffs. He was throwing jokes and i was laughing like mad coz he was hella funny! Its like totally unexpected! Coz he doesn't seem capable of throwing punch lines like those! So there, i was laughing so hard and he was too, then out of nowhere like some spur of the moment thing he asked, " Pwede ba kitang dalawin dito?." I didn't answer, i just raised an eyebrow. Then he went, " your house perhaps?." That actually made me a lil bit uneasy, because i wasn't sure if he was serious or not. Well, when i looked at him he was smiling but he sounded quite serious. I really don't know. Then came silence. He was still smiling and then i was still unsure of what to answer so to break the ice i went, " Hala!, sa pagkakaalam ko wala namang sakit bahay namen ah..ba't ka dadalaw?." Eh, parang ET naman pala tong si Chad, bigla ba namang tumawa ng sobrang lakas? Naalog na ata ang utak at ang tagal huminto sa kakatawa so nakikisabay na rin ako para naman di siya magmukhang tangengot dun. We were like two crazy people laughing at an old joke. Tapos nung medyo na digest na niya lahat yung joke kong sobrang sinauna na, humirit na naman itong si Pareng Chad,"Oi, seryoso ako ah...di nga..pwede?." Hala, itong mamang to sobrang bilis! Di pa nga kami friends as in friends kc before that convo, i could say acquiantances lang kami at ngayon magpapapromote agad siya? Aba! the flash ang arrive at di ko mahabol-habol dahil ako'y hamak na mortal lamang.

I was gonna answer na sana ng biglang ngsalita ulit siya, "Honestly, i really like you. Kahit noon pa, kaya lang i thought you and Steve are..." Tapos yun, pinagdikit nya yung dalawang pointing fingers[?] niya. Medyo nagulat ako dun, sa unang sinabi niya. I mean, i thought he doesn't know me. Well, we were actually introduced by Steve pero hanggang dun lang, he just smiles at me sometimes when we'd bump into each other sa corridor. Nothing like really talking and chatting with him just like last night.

Natameme ang aking beauty for a second. Buti nalang wala maxadong tao dun sa may bandang working desk ko. " Ahh..ganon?..pero hinde ah, bestfriends lang kami nun. Isa pa, he's too hott to handle and sobrang hunkilicious for my taste." I laughed a bit, telling him i was joking about the last part.

He was gonna answer na sana ng may umepal na naman and handed him the printed files already then he introduced me to his friend pala. Di na rin siya nakasagot, to my relief! He just said kita nalang daw kami sa school kasi nagmamadali yung kasama niya so and so...and why did i mention to my relief? Kasi even if he's good looking and fafable and i just found out he's got good sense of humor, hinde ko pa rin siya trip i promote para maging boyfriend in the future. Why? for some reasons di ko rin alam.lol. I think im a weirdo, sabi nga ng bestfriend ko. Hell, i don't really know. Mybe i am.

---

I joined PINAYTALK nga pala. A new filipino forum.It's fun there. Sali kayo! And sa mga nagtanong kung anong version ng "HIGH" ang gusto ko, yung sa Speaks at Barbie Almalbis.. Wala lang. Sounds great.

LSS: Crazy by Simple Plan.

talk about what?

2006-02-27T15:01:00.000+08:00

stuffs.
what stuffs?
these ...

COMMENTS --- i wanna say thanks for those comments on my last post. twas just so sweet of you.

TAMBOK --- sadly, from the four pupz, he's the only one left. the other two died. and CHOY was $$$. get it? and yeah, TAMBOK is a cebuano word which means fat. And yeah, tambok is fat.lol.

HIGH --- seriously, i really really like this song by the speaks. i still can't get over it until now..[sings] "time won't flow, everyone knows..you've got to hold your head up high"...

THE NEW WORLD --- who has seen it? i honestly got bored watching the whole thing for like, 2-3 hours?..i thought it wasn't gonna end. I actually got curious since ive always loved the animated version, POCAHONTAS but yeah..curiousity killed the cat. I was like so dead --- sleeping in the sofa for hours. that boring aye? sure is..

GLORIA ARROYO --- be good ok? do the right thing. You're seriously ruining my country. everything's fucked up.

"There are a lot of things a man could take in this world but a woman's love is not among them. It has to be given willingy."

--- ive read that from some book. I forgot the title. lol. And yeah, that one is for someone.

The trip down to the memory lane.

2006-02-24T16:10:00.000+08:00

Warning: Long filipino post ahead.

Ang hirap noh? Pabigla bigla mo nalang naiisip. Akala mo wala na. Tapos may isang bagay lang na pamilyar sayo na karugtong ng isang alaala, tuloy tuloy na yan. Walang paalam. Walang konsiderasyon.

Sa totoo lang di ko naman gusto to eh. Kung pwede na nga lng maging manhid para matapos na, papayag ako. Pero tang'ina, kahit na binabalewala mo na , ngpapakatatag ka na't lahat lahat, wala pa rin. Di ko na nga pinapansin yung ibang nagpaparinig eh, yung nagpapahayag ng kanilang walang humpay at hanggang pagsintang parurot saken. Kapal ko na ba?. Mukha nga. Unang hakbang pa lang nila, kaibigan nalang ah? Yan ang laging sabi ko. Kasi ayoko ng maulit. Gustuhin ko man, walang mangyayari. Dahil bwesit na puso to eh, walang ibang kilala, walang ibang minahal kundi siya. Tang inang pagmamahal yan. Ayoko na ng ganito. Wala na man akong kasalanan eh. Nagmahal lang ako, ng todo, grabe at totoo.

Mahigit isang taon na rin. Isang taon ng huling nagin kami. Isang taon na rin akong hinde nakaramdam na magmahal ulit sa ibang tao. Umaasa ako na sana, Diyos ko po, sana sa iba nalang. Huwag nalang laging siya pa rin hanggang ngayon. Siya, na sumuko. Siya, na hinde lumaban. Siya, na tanging taongminahal ko sa buong buhay ko. Ayoko na. Napapagod na ako. Gusto ko ng bumalik sa dati. Normal.

Nagsisisi ako. Kasi siya, maswerte. Feeling ko kasi hinde siya worthy eh. Hinde siya worthy sa pagmamahal ko. Dahil alam ko, isa ako dun sa mga taong minsan lang sa buhay nila ma-inlove pero grabe at siguradong yung taong minahal ko siya lang ang mamahalin ko in this life time. Ni minsan, sa lahat ng nagng boyfriends ko, i've never said "I LOVE YOU". Alam nila yun, kasi di ako nagbibitiw ng ganyan kahalang salita pag di ako sigurado at kung di totoo. Alam kong alam niya rin yan, dahil matagal, oo, matagal bago ko nasabi sa kanyang mahal ko siya. Muntikan na nga siyang sumuko noon kasi he felt as if xa lang yung ngmamahal for the two of us. Pero i fell for him, slowly at first but the intensity of the fall was hard when i did. Feeling ko tuloy pinaparusahan ako sa kasalanang di ko alam. Kung meron man, siguradong nagmahal lang ako. Coz he left me. Sa mundong siya ang lahat and the definition of what seemed to be my eternal bliss was him. Sobrang parusa na to. Hanggang ngayon, di niyo man ako makitang umiiyak, nagmumukmok, sumimangot, ang bigat bigat pa rin ng pakiramdam ko. Iniisip ko, nagkakacrush nga ako pero alam ko most of the time ginagawa ko lang xang dahilang eh. Para tumakas and to assure myself that im ok and im back to normal.

Isang taon na rin, pero andito pa rin. Hinahayaan ko na nga yung feeling pero sobrang tangengot talaga ng hearty heart ko. Di ko na nga lubos maisip kung pano nangyaring naging selfless ako kung mgmahal. Astigin ako eh. Parang di naman bagay db? Ang di ko maimagine na magagawa ko, nagawa ko na.

I just wanna tell you. Yes, YOU. Alam mo kung sino ka at kung mabasa mo man to, don't feel guilty or anything, lalong lalo na ang maawa saken. I hate that. Alam mo yan. Alam mo rin na pilitin ko mang magalit sayo, di ko magawa. From that alone, you should feel relieved and grant me at least that. Alam ko rin namang minahal mo ako eh. Sobra nga. At dahil jan, nagpapasalamat na ako ng malaki sayo. I just hope, i really do hope i could let go of everything and be happy. I wanna be happy. You know why? Gusto kong maging masaya para sayo. Kahit ano man o kung ano man yung nangyari sa aten, i still wish for your happiness. Mas mabuti na rin siguro na ganito tayo. Di nagkikita, nag-uusap o nagttext man lang. Kasi pag bumalik ka ulet sa buhay ko at aalis ka rin gaya ng dati baka di ko na kayanin. Babae rin naman ako eh. Pinipilit ko mang magpakatatag most of the time, darating at darating din yung araw na wala akong magagawa kundi umiyak nalang. At ayokong dumating ang araw na yan. Not that i don't wanna feel all weak but i know i don't deserve that. Dahil kahit ganito ako, i know, i just know im worth loving and more... and i deserve to be happy..

<3HANMAE

Random blabs.

2006-02-21T20:28:00.000+08:00

-edit-

I got dailies already. My fam. See for yourself just below the tagboard.

<3 HANMAE

-edit-

I just wanna say thanks to all those who cared, cursed the holduppers [like i did] for me, commented and welcomed me back. And... CONGRATULATIONS! to sis AISHA coz she's got her own domain already. Cutie name.

Im like so broke right now. I wanna buy some stuffs kaso di ko mabili kase nga alang pera. Kakabwesit. Tas, i wanna change my layout na. Kakasawa na rin kasing tingnan, ngeon ko lng napansin. Ang problema, wala akong pampalit dito, di ko pa kc nababayaran si sis IRISH sa pinagawa kong layout sa kanya, kasi nga nanakawan ako. Im gonna make use of the money i have left for some useful stuffs lalo na at sobrang daming projects. I don't wanna ask my parents rin, coz im not someone who ask for money na di naman talaga kelangan kahit na alam ko, if i would just ask, they'll give it to me. I can't make one for myself rin kasi nasira nga yung laptop sa bahay, wala na rin yung photoshop sa cafe` where i work.

Sobrang kabadtripan. Parang minamalas ata ako. Hayy...anak ng kalungkutang buhay naman o!..Makabili nga ng lucky me at baka may mahulog na pera galing kung saan. 100,000 rin yun db?toinks. babush muna!

a series of UNFORTUNATE EVENTS.

2006-02-15T15:40:00.000+08:00

First off i wanna say sorry to all my blogmates, i havent visited your sites for eons already. I got loads of reasons why, but i can't enumerate them all here. Sorry din kasi di man lang ako nakapagpaalam. I got no time to update na kasi because i got so busy, as in super duper busy na kahit paggawa ng super short entry na mawawala ako ng more or less two weeks eh di ko magawa. Thanks sa lahat ng dumaan daan dito. Namiss ko kayong lahat.

Halos di ko alam ang itatype ko dito. These past few weeks has been hell again for me. I got sick for almost a week. I lost my cellphone, sobrang badtrip kasi pangatlong fone ko na yan na naiwala ko. I got at least an hour of tongue lashing from my mom. Nawalan ako ng at least 4 thou--- my salary. Technically di naman talaga naiwala kasi na hold up ako. Anak ng kalungkutang buhay nga naman! So ngeon, wala na akong cellphone. I don't know kung kelan ulet ako magkakaron kasi new pa yung phone ko eh.

A lot of things have happened, i can't tell them all here kasi medyo wala pa. Anyways, thanks sa lahat ng naggreet saken. BELATED HAPPY HEARTS DAY! rin sa inyong lahat. Thanks rin sa mga ngbigay ng gifts saken, to Sis Irish , Camz and Kumiks.

And my birdie, KHIMY has changed her URL. So pakipalitan nalang sa mga sites nyo into this ---> KHIMY

the HEARTBREAKER'Z

2006-01-31T21:32:00.000+08:00

Dahil wala naman akong maisip ipost today, heto nakatuwaan kong kunan ng screenshot ang myspace profile ko, pati kay shiello.

..::hanmae aka GORJUZGHURL::..

..::shiello aka HOTCHICK::..

Anong kaibahan sa dalawa? yung contact table, online now icon and the extended network. Ako kasi naghanap ng codes at gumawa ng myspace profile naming dalawa kaya parehas yan. She likes pink kasi kaya ayun same nalang kami. Click nyo lang yung screenshot, add nyo kami. People with myspace calling!

Bakit nga pala heartbreaker'z ang title entry ngeon? It's actually my barkada's group name. The Heartbreaker'z Society^TM. Baka naman you'd think we literally break some guy's hearts. Nope! We got the name from the song "ADDICTED" by simple plan. Sa end ng chorus di ba may line na "heartbreaker, heartbreaker". Eh yun, uso kasi yung kantang yun noong first year pa ako, uyy...di pa mxadong matagal yun ah.. twas 2 years ago lang noh! The name was actually for our sociology class group project. Group name para sa group thesis namin.

Kwento ko nalang sila sa inyo kasi sila naiisip ko ngeon eh. Yun, we're five in the group. Kinareer na namin yung name ng group di lang for the project kundi as our barkada name. We're actually five, SHACK, its shiello, hanmae, azil, carla and kipling. Ngeon six na kami, kasi from an all fem group may isang guy member na kami, c Dodong. We also formulated some aka's to make it more cool. Katuwaan lang kumbaga. Eto.

Shiello aka the HOTCHICK

Hanmae aka the GORJUZGHURL

Azil aka the INNOCENT VIRGIN

Carla aka the TALKMASTER

Kipling aka the SHAMELESS FLIRT

Natatawa ako sa aliases namin. Si dodong naman eh new member kaya wala pa xa nung ngformulate kami ng alias for each member. Para talaga kaming ewan nun. Kung san yung isa, andun rin yung isa. Pag di papasok sa isang subject yung isa, absent rin kaming lahat. Pag mgccr yung isa, mg eexcuse kaming lima. Grabe, namimiss ko na ang barkada ko. Di na kasi kami gaya ng dati. Kipling got away. lmfao. She seems into some other thing now, some group. Sosyalan daw. Tsk. Tas nasa ibang school na rin ako ngeon, kaya di na kami magkasama parati. I hella miss them. Babalik na ako next sem sa USJ-R. Hopefully, the gang will be back too. SOON!

some things are EVERYTHING.

2006-01-27T21:25:00.000+08:00

---edit---

ok na ang iwebtunes. ok na rin bg music ko!..lolx.. la lng..ayan..maririnig nyo na yung never gone for sure...

---edit---

Anong connect? ewan, pabigla bigla talaga minsan tong utak ko. Sabi pa ni Irish, talagang makulit lang lahi naten, mga girls i mean. Grabe, natatawa ako sa babaeng yun, nakakaaliw ang kanyang stories sa teentalk. Daming kabaliwan ang natutunan ko sa mga stories niya, siyempre with matching "kiligness" rin daw ako, minsan.

Parang wala lang tong post na to'. Kung anong maalala, xang itatype. Napanood nyo ba yung Oprah nung tuesday ba yun? Si Jon Bon Jovi ang guest nila. Im a big fan of him.

ILL BE THERE FOR YOU, THESE FIVE WORDS I SWEAR TO YOU

Di lang sa music niya, kundi, siya talaga, bilang tao. I admire him. He takes time to look around and help children and stuffs. Yung band nila, instead of making a new video, ibinigay nalang nila sa habitat for humanity yung money para pagawa ng bahay. Naalala ko pa yung sinabi nya, something like touching a single soul everyday. Di ko maxadong ma quote word for word kasi pentium 1 tong utak ko eh. Sobrang low mem.

The other day naman, o kahapon ba yon? Basta, a tribute to Christopher Reeve naman. Grabe, sobrang idol ko na yang si Superman, ngeon, talagang i look up to him as a superhero na talaga. Siyempre dahil kay Mr. Reeve. He's just great. Pati yung anak niya na 12 years old pa lang, iba kung sumagot. He says he wants to be a great guy like his dad, coz he's just great. Nakaiyak pa nga ako sometime while watching the show nung pinakita yung wife niya during the eulogy ba yun? Ganun.

Commercial ng close up. Siguro naman napanood niyo na ano. Wala lang. Type ko rin. Kakatouch. Sky writing. The rain. Kiss. Hugs. Hayy!..LOVE. Wala lang. Wala talaga noh!

LSS ko today. STANDING AT THE EDGE OF THE EARTH by BLESSID UNION OF SOULS.
click to listen

Thanks nga pala sa mga nagcomment sa last post ko. For the record, ok naman ako. Hopefully.

NEVER GONE.

2006-01-23T17:36:00.000+08:00

You've heard the song right? It's my bg music right now. It's from the BSB's NEVER GONE 2005 album. For some reasons, i remember someone when i heard it this morning. That's why i searched the net blah..blah..blah..G?..Labo ko noh?

Im feeling nostalgic for some reasons, about some stuffs. Kahit naman minsan, i try to be as strong as possible, there's just a time like now that makes me think of the "what if's". Kung sana di nalang ako naging mxadong courageous, i'd think na baka it wouldn't be this way right now. Kasi kahit anong pilit natin minsan, di talaga nawawala--- ang mga memories, the deep impact of the decisions i made in my life, the pain of giving up my happiness for someone's happiness. Pretty heroic right? I never ever have imagined na darating yung time na mgpapakamartir ako. Kasi, its never me. Di ako ganon. But i did, i was, i am.

Ayokong pagsisihan yung mga naging desisyon ko. Di lang sa isang bagay na yun, kundi sa lahat lahat. Di dapat, pero there are times like now, parang sising sisi ako, alam kong kagagawan ko pero di ko mapigilang ibunton ang sisi sa iba. This is my life, so if i fuck it off its my fault, walang pakialam ang iba dun. Lagi kong iniligagay sa utak ko yan. Buhay ko to.

Tama na nga to'. Takteng buhay may drama drama effect pa! anak ng kalungkutan! Yung last sunday adventure ko next time nalang. Feel ko kasing mgdrama ngeon, eh masaya yung araw na yun eh. tata!

SATURDAY is my favorite day!

2006-01-16T19:18:00.000+08:00

Oh yeah. I had the best weekend ever!

OMG!!..sa totoo lang nahihirapan akong magtype ngeon, hinde sa masakit ang kamay ko or whatever basta parang wala akong maalala!All i could remember was i had a blast!!

Last saturday was really unexpected. I woke up early at around 8am[i know di yan early para sa inyo pero para sa isang nocturnal na kagaya ko sobrang aga na nyan!] , grabeh record breaking yan for me ah... mabibilang lang ata ang mga araw na gigising ang inyong kagandahan ng ganyan kaaga!...So, yeah..i got ready blah..blah..blah..girls rituals and all kasi susunduin ko pa yung dalawang friends ko dun sa mall sa malapit smen. 10am kasi yung napag usapan naming mgmeet. Dumating na ako sa mall, around 10 talaga[record breaking din yan..late to lgi eh..], kaya lang wala akong nagawa kundi tumunganga ng mga 20 to 30 minutes hanggang sa dumating yung isa kung friend na si Shiello, tapos another 30 minutes din ata before pa dumating si Azil...yeah, mga filipino talaga noh? Ang init init pa naman dun!Pero di naman ako nagalit of course, konting bagay lang yan saken kc gawain ko rin yan eh.Ayun, balik ulet kami samen kasi kukuhanin ko pa yung mga gamit ko. Sobrang late na nmen, i mean si Shiello, xa lang kasi yung may CWTS samen kasi natapos na nmen yang lintik na subject na yan nung 1st year kme ni Azil. Magbabantay kasi lahat ng mga CWTS students sa daan para sa crowd control sa procession...Kami naman ni Azil eh, moral support lang!aba! sobrang haba ng procession na yan!..tapos ang daming tao!..nkakapagod mgbantay!!Ayun, late nga xa halos ng isang oras kc 11 yung assembly tas mga 12+ na kme dumating, sobrang pgka Filipino na toh!

After ng walang kamatayang procession na natapos na ng mga 5pm ata eh punta na nmn kme sa aming next destination, now with our boi bud Lyndon, bodyguard namen yan eh!Our plan was manood sana kame ng show dun sa SM, andun kasi yung starstruck batch 1 and 2 kaya lng dahil nga sa sobrang tagal natapos nung procession eh wala na kameng naabutan. Mga 6+ na rin kasi kme dumating dun. We tried to make habol of course kaya pumunta kame sa likod, dun kasi cla mgsshow, sadly wala nga diba?..but good God was on our side! Guess what?? nung papunta na kme sa fiesta strip kasi there's another show there with Jay-r may narinig kmeng kumakanta ng Only You, you guessed it right!...nakita namen si Sam Milby up close!..as in super lapit kasi andun nga kme sa likod, i mean sa backstage tas ala pa maxadong tao. Unexpected talaga yun kasi nga di talaga namen alam na he's gonna be there!..gosh!..grabeh! ngpakajologs talaga kme dun!Tili kme ng tili! kasi nga ang gwapo talaga nya! I swear that was the first time i did it! Nakisiksik talaga kme dun sa backstage papunta sa may gilid ng stage lasi nga he's saying onstage pa, i know sobrang daming nagalit kasi wala tlga kameng paki ng mga friends ko!kiber!Here's another shot, i get to shake hands with him!Super duper di ko xa ineexpect buti nalang talaga andun kme sa backstage!Grabeh, after nun, di na nawala yung mga ngiti namen, badtrip nung una pero lady luck was really on our side!..kala niyo lng yun!wahhh...the bad thing is, sa sobrang excitement namen, di namen nkuhanan ng picture si fafa Sam! Pero ok lng, twas such a memory to keep!

After that Sam craze thing, umalis na muna kme, kasi 10pm pa mgpperform si Jay-r, mga bands pa yung humalili, kya we went to Ayala Center muna. When we got there, badtrip naman, kasi ala kaming mga pera. Kala kasi namen free lang yung concert ng san mig with rivermaya and urbandub, di pala. Yung sa globe naman, may bayad rin pati yung sa Levi's at ABS..kaya dun lng kme sa grassland..bsta, yung park dun sa ayala na puro grass, di ko kasi alam kung ano yung exact term. Naglaro lang kmi dun, with my pinsan J2X na kasi dumating xa nung mga 10 pm ata nghahanap rin ng kasama...sobrang parang ewan lng kme dun, ngbibilang ng stars, ngboi hunting, akin2 atbp. Di na kame bumalik sa SM kasi kakatamad na, mga 2 am na rin kme nkauwi. All in all, saturday was hella fun!

Yung sunday adventure naman namen eh, bukas ko na ikkwento, sobrang haba na kasi pra saken tong post na toh! and before i sign off..buzz..buzz...ang cute ng smileys noh?..that is courtesy of RALP. If you liked it, visit nyo lng site nya..at kumuha kayo ng sa inyo!..tata!

we got 4 new pupz!!!

2006-01-10T21:58:00.000+08:00

--- edit ---
[a lot of mispelled words dahil sa pgmamadali.lol.]

omg!..just this morning our pretty doggie cutiepie [oh no, don't blame me if the name sucks coz i didnt give her the name. hehe.] gave birth to four new male pupz!...they're really adorable!..and so so cute!..haha..cant believe it! swerte to' coz its the year of the dog!..haha..and yeah...if your gonna ask for pix of them next time nlng..but i sure am gonna post it here!...pramiz!..lolx..

nweiz, an added bonus is that i have this kitty name "spring"..yeah...i think it does sound cool although my mom got her name from that of a mineral water..gets nyo?...nature spring..lolx..xa nlng mg isa..dti kse dlawa cla..c nature at spring..ngeon ewan ko kung san nggala yung isang pusang yun!..haha..i really tend to blabb sometimes but lets go back to spring..she's pregnant to!..sus me!..prang tao tong binabalita ko!..lolx..but yeah..im really2 happy!!..sa wakas!!..and for those curious about her breed..she's a siamese cat...and she's a cutie too!..lol...si cutiepie nmn, eh maltese..yung mga anak nun eh crossbreed na..coz the pop is a japanese pitch[tama ba?]..haha..bsta...yun na yun...

eto nlng muna...i was not gonna update sana but i got so excited!..lolx..but the pix dun sa bakasyon eh di pa napapadala so antay nlng muna..hehe..tata!..ciao!

ang PAGBABALIK.

2006-01-07T17:50:00.000+08:00

Yeehahhh!!!..im backkk!!!...

....toot...tooot...toooot...pero tinatamad pa rin ako, kaya pcnxa na mga pipx. isang walang kwentang post na nmn to'. tang ina. bad trip mode na nmn ang lola nyo. opps. d b bawal mgmura dito??..sorry tlga. blog ko nmn to kya i can swear to my hearts content. shux!..english yun ah??..

Well anyways, next time na ako mgkkwento tungkol sa aking bakasyon. yeah. yung new year at xmas. d pa kc naprint lahat ng pix kya pagbigyan nyo muna ako. Mas trip ko kcng mgkwento pag may pix pra captions nlng ilalagay ko db??..mas easy pa xa. Mahaba habang post rin yun kung saka sakali.

Napansin nyo ba?..yep...bago po ang aking layout. Pero di pa po ito tapos gya ng nkasaad sa post it jan. Sabi ko nga, inaatake na nmn ako ng aking ever loyal na skit. ang katamaran. At gusto ko plang mgpasalamat sa mga pipx na dumaan at ngreet sken last xmas at new year. I wont mention names nlng dhil medyo marami kau at bka may mkaligtaan pa ako. At nkalimutan kong tinatamad nga pla ako kya hinde rin pwede.

thank u rin kay mareng Kai ng teentalk sa kanyang gift. eto.

Thanks mare.

At yung mga ngtag sken sa kanya kanyang blogs nila. Cnxa na. Sabi ko nga, tinatamad tlga ako tas bad trip pa. Kya sorry kung u know. bsta.

cge, kung may nkalimutan mn akong sbihin kc feeling ko meron tlga, sa susunod nlng cguro.

sa mga badtrip pipol today, wish ko lng d na tau badtrip bukas. tata!

THANK YOU!

2005-12-30T16:33:00.000+08:00

omigawd!..ive been rejecting mah blog for like a week or so na. Ive been hella busy plus internet cafe's are nowhere near the vicinity of my cousins home where im staying right now. But im really having fun here. Coz its like, totally a whole new vacation experience for me again. Sadly its Christmas season without my mom and dad but i get to be with my brother. Okei, first things first...id like to say thanks to Chloe and Johanna for the gifts..its so sweet of them...here:

and to all those pipz who greeted me... Khimy, Chloe, Kariza, Ayeka, Johnalynne, Arikel, Kath, Nina, Aira, Ayashi, Johanna, Kristine etecera...can't name all of you but thanks a lot for the greetings and for always dropping by...and Nina..i just got it from thinkexist and the author stays anonymous...

til here muna...il update more when i get back to cebu.. il post up pix[i promise]...il be home by tuesday so i guess il be able to update that day na... and you'll dread that day coz il be posting a very long entry!..lolx...nweiz, Happy new year to all of you!...ciao!..miss ko na kayong lahat!

few days more...

2005-12-19T18:39:00.000+08:00

Yeehaahhh!!!...few days more before christmas! Can't wait coz il be going to Cotabato[hopefully] this thursday pra mgbakasyon and spend christmas with my relatives and my bro. Para maiba naman.

Yesterday pala was my cousin J2x's birthday. He's 19 already. Like me. Nweiz, yun..we had dinner at Tsibogs, lapit lang sa bahay nmen. Pauwi na sana kme ng umulan nmn, kaya stranded kme for about an hour or so. Kakabwesit nga nmn. Buti nlng mrami kme. My other cousins and some friends na halos mgkaedad lng so, it was fun being stranded nonetheless.

Just few hours ago, galing ako sa UC. School ng bro ko dati. I was asked by my mom to get my bro's transcript of records. Wala lng. Wala lng talaga akong masabi.lolx.

And may news ako. Di nlang ako magpapalit ng christmas layout kasi nga few days na nga lng christmas na db?...d ko kc natapos yung coding. Well, for next year nalang cguro yun. Im working on my next layout na rin nmn. Yung d pang christmas. Cguro before the year ends or early next year na ko magpapalit. Tapos na xa actually. Yung Christmas layout lng ang hinde. But i'd still finish it. Hopefully i can give you the screen shot of it when im done with it. Sabi ko na nga ba baka next year na talga magagamit. lolx. Nweiz, im excited for my next layout kasi i love the header so much!..lolx. More than what i expected ang pagkakagawa.

That cute thing there is a gift from Johnalynne!..isn't she sweet??..thanks a lot girl.

isang napaka boring na sabado.

2005-12-17T23:25:00.000+08:00

Aba, di ko rin alam. Pero bored na bored ako ngeong araw na to. Sakit pa sa katawan inabot ko sa sobrang tulog ata!..Buong maghapon ata akong natulog. Ewan ko ba. Inaatake na naman ako ng aking 'TAMAD' virus. Bumabalik pa rin talaga. Nasa dugo ko na ata talaga ang pagiging tamad..lolx.

Kanina, nagsimba ako. Bandang 8pm. Kasi tamad nga ako eh, kaya ang simbang gabi ko, eh literal na simbang gabi!..gabi talaga xa.lolx. Yun, masama ako eh tama ba namang nakipagkwentuhan ako sa kaklase ko?urgh!..ba't ko ba natanong tanong pa eh alam ko namang mali. Yun na nga, kasi naman, sobrang daldal ng aking katabi. Kwento xa ng kwento about this certain guy in the front pew. Note, wafu xa. Super. Tsk. Kahit sa simbahan talaga minsan ng b-boy hunting pa rin ang mga girls!..lolx. at di ko ineexclude sarili ko jan! sobrang sama ko talaga. Pero talaga naman, sabi ni 'katabi' ko, yung guy daw na yun is super bait. He's got plans of going to the seminary daw at magpapari. Ako naman, todo iling while she's making kwento![gosh!..konyo2 na ako ha!..arte!] Kasi, hinde pwede. HINDE talaga. Bkeetttt???Kasi, forgive me for this[tinging sa taas], he himself represents sin. Gets? Ang fafable ng lolo niyo!..Eh, ano nalang gagawin ng mga parishioners[tama ba?] pag nagmimisa xa? esp mga girls? tutunganga?...lmfao. Ewan ko ba. Wala talaga akong magawa no?..Kahit buhay ng ibang tao kinakalantari ko!..lolx!..chisms ever. Bahala na nga yun sa buhay nya. Andiyan pa naman c Chad michael, Champ, Yael etc... andami pang fafable sa world.

Ay, eto nga pala...Kariza gave me a christmas present!..sweet girl indeed!!..thanks a lot girl!!!here's the preview.

And malapit ko na matapos ang christmas layout. Coding nalang ang kulang. Baka bukas mapalitan ko na to'.

chicken little says,"Hanmae finds fish out of water cute, and adds that she loathes some b*tches..opps..what are we talkin about??"

2005-12-13T20:23:00.000+08:00

Napanood ko na rin sa wakas ang CHICKEN LITTLE. My goodness! It was sooo fun! Chicken little is so cute but fish out of water is cuter!. LOLX. Stitch is my fave cartoon character but now im having second thoughts already!LMFAO. Quick thinking can't resolve this. I need a lot of thinking and i gotta analyze to choose better.LOL.

Well, it's a good thing. It kinda feels good to laugh[hard] after a day of tears. Yeah, i was crying the whole morning for some reasons. What reasons? Stupid ones. You should have seen me. I look like a mess. All over. A total disaster to my future clients!lol. It even hurts like hell when i was trying to open my eyes.
I knew it was my fault. I was a big fat liar. But i know i had to do it. I just couldn't understand why they had to do it without letting me know first. Especially my so-called "friends". I trusted them. No doubt. I told them i wasn't ready to speak up. My real reasons. I feel so betrayed that for the first time in my life, i hated someone, really hate[her?they?]. You know that? Coz feeling anger and hatred are to different things.

I know my mom's disappointed. Even if I don't want to do it, i mean hurt my parents, i just wanted to do what i had to do. Not something i just feel like doing. I wanna say sorry but not for what i did but for hurting them[parents]. Coz i've always been the rebellish type. Not the ADHD rebel type but doing it on my own not according to the usual norms [ call it weird or whatever]. Like if somethings created, i recreate it. I mean, i leave my mark.

I quote Angelina "mrs. smith" Jolie, " Ive been reckless, but im not a rebel without a cause." I do not decide and do things just for the heck of it or for nothing. I know ive done a lot of wrong stuffs. Mistakes as you call it, but i always stand up for it. Coz i know it'll leave soemthing good for me. These imperfections makes me whole, real and more human. I do not crave for anyone to see me perfect or almost perfect. Coz it isn't me. It won't be me.
I've always been the i-dont-care-what-you-think-of-me type too. Not all the way, but in most terms. It's sometimes too tiring to give a teeny bit of care to those people who doesn't know anything but criticize and see whats wrong with you everyday. They are just seeing, not even looking. They kind of just see the negative stuffs about you, like these stuffs...

"oh! your bangs sucks! get a haircut!" ---wtf??
"You got 15/50 in math? drop the subject honey.." ---another wtf???
"You really eat that stuff?eww..weirdo." --- get real people! its still food!
"What are you wearing? that's like, so 80s!" --- oh? really? cut me some slack, i was born in the 80's and so are you!

And so on and so forth. Gosh!..Life just sucks sometimes. Loads of fakers and wannabes. Some pipz are just so fuckin' unbelievable! Do i have a neon sign posted in my forehed that says dumb?studid?moron? I just happen to know what i wan't and its not Math, thats why i got 15/50. And i am not alone in this sentiment.

So read what i type. Leave me alone. Stop bitching you people! and messin with other people's lives! You can do better than that--- fix your own disorders. We all have one.

Hay! grabeh!..maloloka ako neto! Parang ang dali ko atang ma high blood these days! and im beginning to sound like a biatch myself.LOLX. Every girl love's bitching at a point. Sometimes. Just don't do it often, i think.

Ewan. Wala pa rin ako sa sarili ko.

walang kwenta.pramis.

2005-12-12T21:49:00.000+08:00

Naks. Sa totoo lng, walang kwenta talaga tong post na to. Wala lang magawa ang inyong lingkod.tsk. Sobrang pissed off pa rin ako. Minsan lang kasi talaga ako magalit. Once in a blue moon. Sobra. And i don't bear grudges. Siyempre, ang pileges[?tama ba spelling?]. Yoko ata tumanda ng maaga!...lolx.

Sinimulan ko na ring gawin yung next layout ko. For next year. Di pa nga lang xa tapos.[sabi mo nga kasisimula pa lng db?]Sort of ganito pa rin ang style. Kasi type ko eh. Simple lang kasi. Iniba ko lng yung header and yung mga colors. And im working on a Christmas layout. REBEL style. Meaning di xa happy2 chuva but the darker way. I mean my theme is BLACK CHRISTMAS. Di naman xa maxadong obvious na like ko ang black diba?..lolx.. Gusto ko kase maiba. Not the usual happy christmas air. I just hope matapos xa before the season ends!..lmfao!..kundi baka next christmas ko na magamit!...Medyo wala kasi tlga ako sa mood. Tinatamad pa. Di na nga ako nakakavisit sa teentalk. Anak ng kalungkutan!..Pano na po yung thread ko?... Sana naman, may dumaan pa rin.

Aba!..di ko raw feel magpost?..pero mahaba na pala.lolx.

nweiz, thanks sa mga dumaan. Nung isang araw. Kahapon at Ngayon.
lmfao. Parang title ng movie. Kay Johanna, Ayeka, Arikel, Paula, Pen, Kristine, Zhel, She. To my teentalk pals, Kweenie, Alexie, Kath, Birdie at kay Momskiee`` Sarra. Na miss ko kayo. Sobra. Salamat sa pagdaan.

+ wag maging pasawai. ugaliing kumain ng gulay+

I MUST HATE THE WORLD.tsk.

2005-12-10T21:31:00.000+08:00

LOLx. Of course not. Scratch that for me. Well, gusto ko lang maglabas ng sama ng loob. I'll err--- type my heart out. LMFAO. If there is such a term. Here i go.

I HATE FAKERS.
FAKERS ARE LOSERS.
LOSERS DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY WANT.

I TRUSTED you PEOPLE.
I CALLED you friends.
"friends" MY ASS.

friends DO NOT BETRAY EACH OTHER.
I DO NOT NEED judasES IN MY LIFE.
SO THANK YOU FOR THE friendship.lolx.
PLEASE DEDUCT ME IN YOUR LIST. COZ IL DO THE SAME.

HASTA LA PROXIMA VEZ. or i prefer, HASTA LA VISTA AMIGOS!

hingal.done.

birtday ni birdie khapon!

2005-12-05T16:20:00.000+08:00

birdie!...im really2 sorry kung d ako nkatext khapon!..wla talaga akong load pramis!!but i greeted u dun sa teentalk..hope u've seen it..love u birdie!!...take care!!

Ever After...

2005-11-29T13:48:00.000+08:00

the song...

Three years ago my journey began
Chasin down this cure no plan in hand
Just your pulse, my reason guiding the dark
Just no wind with conviction from the start
The moment your eyes made an introduction
I felt my second violent breath of life
Flawless to the point of bein cocky
Yet I fell for all your imperfections

Now its slightly weathered, its slightly worn
Our hands still together until after the storm
I believe in ever after with you
Cause life is a pleasure with you by my side
And there aint no current in this river we cant ride
I believe in ever after with you

Nothing compares to the good times
Feels like were floating when the rest of them climb
You made me believe in love and not the perfect kind
A real messy beautiful, twisted sunshine
Emotions: volcanic eruptions
We both took care so were still alive
Tunnel vision . . . determination
I want you, I want to make it right

Now its slightly weathered its slightly worn
Our hands still together until after the storm
I believe in ever after with you
Cause life is a pleasure with you by my side
And there aint no current in this river we cant ride
I believe in ever after with you

You are my twisted sunshine
You are my twisted sunshine

....i still believe in ever after with you...

That's what i want to say to him. But i think it wouldn't matter. Well i guess if it would it still wouldn't change a thing. It's over...

I wanna say that to myself over and over again. That it's over. That finally i'm over him. Coz it's just so tiring and frustrating to keep on going on and hoping that things would change but when i look at it, nothing's changed. It's tiring, very tiring... to keep up, cry tons and tons and telling yourself to be strong coz you deserve to be happy..i deserve to be happy.

I guess what they say is true. Even if i think i can't go on, and im feeling exhausted, the thing is love never grows weary, never gets tired. It doesn't just fade in a snap of a finger or whenever you want to. Eventhough at times i tell myself to stop, the next minute im on again... I've already told myself a couple of times, "nakakapagod din palang magmahal at umasa..." but some hearts just won't listen, hearts like mine.

From the way things are right now, ive thought of one thing: I've already done my part and the best i could do but it just didn't turn out right. At least i could tell myself that i tried and i know i did my best. I've always thought everything was worth the fight. The love, my love for him i could say was worth it, but i think he thinks otherwise...I've done everything. Uncovering my self and telling him my thoughts to let him see im a changed person... for the better...for myself...and especially for him. Now, i think it was best if i did it only for myself and not for anybody.

I'm gonna keep on going now and never look back. I mean not soon... I think i might look back eons from now but just to reminisce it. A handful of memories i'd say...tsk..the perfect guy, but the sad thing is i wasn't the perfect girl. It hurts to end something you've fought so hard, something i wasn't ready to give up... something i was hoping...something i put up my faith in..OUR LOVE...

But some things just gotta end...
something left behing must be taken cared of...MYSELF...
one thing is for sure though...that the love...remains...forever...

toinkz...toinks...toinkx..dramaqueen ang drama ko ngeon!!...
wahhhh!!...i can't believe it!!!

NOW SHOWING:

2005-11-22T14:38:00.000+08:00

lmfao!...just got this from istorya...some edited posters of movies...starred by the Pinoy Big Brother housemates...just click on the thumbnail for a better view...
here's my fave...whoahhhh..ang wafu ni sam!!..grabeh!..lmfao!
whoah...he's gorgeous!...haha..kainis!love yah fafa sam..lol!

♥ Love Letter...again.. ♥

2005-11-19T23:15:00.000+08:00
remember the love letter i mentioned like weeks ago?...i read it from this certain book and is said to be from the movie " LOVE LETTER ". Guess what?...some really cool pipz help me out and made me posters for it!!!...and im ready to print it or either use for my next layout!!!!
here's a preview of them...just click the thumbnails..

omigosh!..i just love all of them!!
they're nicely done!!!
whoahhh!!!..ang saya2!!!

tipsy

2005-11-12T21:23:00.000+08:00

hahaha...that's an anime version of me...
Dean did that, actually he made a lot of drawings..
coz i was planning to make a scrapbook...
its so cool ayt?...i dont even look like it but its me.
He got my personality...the way i wanna dress up and stuffs..
watcha think?
Nothing great happened this past days..
But yesterday was pretty fun..
we drove around the mountains..and had a little drinking session...
I actually got tipsy in the middle of the session, i was speaking like i wasn't myself..lol...but i was sane pa nmn..
i just got so embarrassed the next morning coz i remembered the stuffs i told "exie" (shiello and azil knows about this)..you know, i really truly believe now that when someone's drunk, you get high spirited and courageous..
thats what happened to me...i texted him all my thoughts and frustrations...
and i ended up crying...the next morning i didn't say sorry but i did ask him to just forget about it...why wud i say sorry?..i was honest...
i just slept the whole aftie...
and went out..to buy some stuffs...
the Rebel^TM
xoxo

isa na namang pamatay na lab istori...

2005-11-10T20:55:00.000+08:00

*Below is the winning piece in the latest contest sa UP Creative writing contest*

Its been 4 months since i saw him and talagang namimiss ko na siya...pero what can i do? it seems that i have loved the wrong person.... but still the pain keeps on hurting me and kung walang magbibigay ng gamot para ditto sa nararamdaman ko.... baka mamatay na ako....to give you a background about my life, everthing seems to be fine except dun sa time na dumating na sa buhay ko yung hinayupak na lalake na yon.... hehehehe.... kung curious kayo about dun sa guy... bestfriend ko po yon kaso lang iba na ang nangyari as time passes by.....classmate ko sya nung highschool. pards pa nga ang tawagan namen.... o db ang sweet? di na ako iba sa kanya and ganon na ren sya sa aken.... kung di nga lang ako naging babae baka naiuwi na ako nun sa bahay nila and baka lahat ng gawaing pang brusko eh ipagawa na nun sa ken eh..... pero cyempre mukha pa ren naman akong babae noh!!highskul cyempre may prom.... wala cyang date, wla ren ako.... i know that he wanted to invite me to be his date pero ang ogag nga kasi nun kaya the last minute tsaka lang sya nag-ask. he went to our house... nakamotor po sya and medyo pawisan pero infairness.... mabango pa ren....he ask my permission to see my dress for the prom.... cyempre para maloka sya sa aken at may konting surprise... i refuse.... o sige, medyo na frustrate sya pero hindi yon naging hadlang para invite nya ko.... sa ganda ko na to..... cyempre ang dami munang pa-echeng.... hanggang sa tanungin nya ako kung may date na ba me.... e kung di ba naman siya abnormal eh.... papayag ba akong makipagdate sa iba eh sya lang ang gusto ko.... lam mo yon... sarap sampalin.... so in short, papilit pa ba ako? syempre.....the night of my life came, i was so pretty sabi ng nang-uuto kong nanay... pero naniwala lang ako nang sya na ang nagsabi.... blush ako ever....kahit alam kong maganda ako since birth (hehehehe) iba pa ren yung sa kanya galing diba?we enjoyed that night and lalo ko lang napatunayan sa sarili ko na mahal ko na pala ang hinayupak na bestfrend ko......syempre ano pa ba ang sunod na event sa prom kundi ang graduation na db? the night before the graduation, we talked on the phone na para bang it would be the last time na maririnig namen ang boses ng isat-isa..... ive waited for the moment na mabanggit nya na may feelings din sya and hindi naman ako nagkamali.... tinanong nya ako kung may possibilty daw na maging kame.... i know na maiinis kayo sa ken dahil alam nyo ba ang sagot ko? ah, eh.... hindi pwede kase bestfrends tayo eh.... yung mga anak na lang naten yung ipag- partner naten.... sa isip-isip ko.... ang tanga! pano ko nasabi ang ganong words? pero wala na akong magagawa..... alam namang bawiin ko pa eh di nahuli naman ako db? pero ang tanga ko talaga....cyempre college na.... im so proud to say na napunta naman ako sa magandang school and take note... pareho kame ng skul..... ano to? Kailangan bang ituloy ang naudlot na pagmamahalan namen?.... hehehe....nagkaboyfriend ako for a year and a half.... minahal ko sya pero there are these conflicts and problems na di na kayang ayusin.... in short.... nagbreak kame.....i guess god meant that to happen kasi yon din yung time na nagkita kame ng bestfrend ko..... sa sobrang miss namen ang isa't-isa.... sabay na kameng umuwi, kumain, pumasok..... im happy pero parang lalo ko lang pinahirapan ang sarili ko dahil my feelings for that guy grows each and everytime that we are together... buti na lang magaling akong magtago at magpigil....hehehe.... bilib kayo noh?.....one morning, im so busy preparing my project that would be pass on that same day.... alam kong dumati ng na sya at nasa likuran ko na ang mokong pero dah il sobrang pressure sa project.... gusto ko man syang dambahan... cyempre mamayang gabi na lang di ba? hehehe.... di ko sya masyadong napansin.....may inabot syang sulat sa aken and he asked if i could join him sa lunch.... i said yes.... then, alis na cya.... alam naman kc nyang im busy.....when i was about to enter the room, somebody bumped me and my precious project fell... gusto ko mang magalet... what can i do db? instead I ask my prof to give me another chance to do my project.... naalala ko si mokong.... the lunch date.... kinuha ko ang cell ko to text him that I cant come to our meeting.... e kaso.... pag tinamaan k nga naman ng malas.... check operator service daw.... i tried to look for friends or other kakilala pero malas that day talaga....and so i took my lunch all by my self.... naalala ko yung letter....hinanap ko sa bag... WALA !!!! bumalik me sa corridor praying na andon pa yung sulat.... wala ren.... god! why? minsan lang magbigay ng sulat yon.... nawala pa.... dont know how to tell him about the letter....and so days and weeks passed, pag nagkikita kame... di nya ako pinapansin... ako, i tried to talk to him pero alam kong may kasalanan ako pero ganon ba kalaki ang nagawa kong di pagpunta at ganon na lang ang iwas nya?... sige... hinayaan ko na lang....months na ang binilang... i heard that he was dating a girl from the same school that we are in... masakit.... na sa iba ko pa narinig na sila na.... mas masakit na wala na akong halaga sa kanya.....basta... ilang araw din yon na ganon ang nararamdaman ko.... weeks....months.... gagraduate na po ako.... i wonder what's instore for me in my last day in school.... and so i thought na puntahan yung favorite hang out namen.... when i was about to get near the place.... i saw him... with the girl.... umiiyak ang bruha but i cant hear what they are talking about.... so ive decided to get out of that place before my tears burst out.... and then a common frend ang sumalubong sa aken.... saying na buntis ang girl.... syempre.... durog na durog ang puso ko.... kung kaya nyo lang ma-imagine yung naramdaman ko.....the night of that same day.... naloka ang lola nyo.... nagparamdam ang mokong pagkaraan ng pagkatagal-tagal na panahon... i thought it was something good for me... for us.... pero i was wrong.... so wrong..... he gave me a wedding invitation and isa ako sa bridesmaids..... the girl...she was waiting in the car.... o db? Dati motor lang ngaun... car na.... sosyal dba?and so the wedding came.... maganda po ako nun.... sabi ng nanay ko pero wala ng nagsecond the motion eh.... so naniwala na lang ako sa nanay ko.... then, there was this professor who came to see me.... he handed over a letter with my name carefully printed on the enveloped.... he said that he looked for the owner of that letter kaso lang po malaki po ang skul namin kaya mahirap magkahanapan db? and so nung nakita nya ang name ko sa invitation, he decided to bring the letter thinking that it could save souls... daw....and so i was about to open the letter when the priest ask kung sino daw ang tututol... dedma ako.... alam namang manggulo pa ko noh....binasa ko na ang letter..... nakakatouch po talaga.... he opened up his feelings for me.... hoping na meron din daw akong feelings for him.... he ask that if i will show up to our hang - out the next day after he gave his letter, then it means that i also have feelings for him and that he would love me for the rest of our lives.... but if i wont.... then he will never open that topic again....he pleaded to me na sana pumunta ako... ...if only i have that letter.... if only i knew about it.... kung di lang ako clumsy and careless to keep that letter... things would be different....if only.....and so i heard the priest announced the couple as husband and wife....ang sakit......picture taking..... gusto mang sumabog ng nararamdaman ko.... as you know.... magaling akong magpigil.... pero masakit po talaga....sobra......after the picture taking...... niyakap ako ng bestfrend ko.... ang higpit.... and teary eyed nyang cnabi na....“i still love you.......”

im tired..but at last! ALL DONE!

2005-10-30T21:48:00.000+08:00

Oh yeah..im so tired...
yesterday, i was thinking of changing the layout of this blog...and here it goes!
so what do you think?
i think i like this...much better than the other one!..more me!..
i made the layout for this!...im so happy!..
nweiz, i think im writing crappy stuffs in here..
got to go..\m/
xoxo

so fuckin' bored..

2005-10-27T21:45:00.000+08:00

Omigosh!Everyday my life just seem to be getting me nowhere. I've never felt so lost my entire life. I feel so lousy, lazy and lame. Three L's huh? I couldn't remember a day, or mybe a week in my life as boring as what i had this week. And just this morning, oh God! another bad day! I thought my head's gonna burst and i wanna scream until my voice croaks.
Uhmm...Have you ever felt so non-existent? If so, i did too. In fact, i still am right now.I feel exactly the same. I feel as if i am nobody, i mean like yes, im still breathing, alive and all that but i don't know, i just feel like i'm not living at all. Same tiring routine everyday. Boring myself to death lounging on the couch for hours watching the same shows i watch everyday. Mom scolds me for not doing what i was assigned to do for the days she wasn't home for some trip. Oh! yeah...i admit... I'm one gorjuz lady that doesn't give a damn about lotsa stuffs, more so about house chores. I know i deserve some yelling and a little spanking but my mind seems to be really wandering off..Somewhere Europe i think?..lol..just kidding! and my ass just won't cooperate! it sits all day long and lay on bed for hours!
Oh my! The lazy side of me has gotten so indespensable! I guess i just have to take things slowly. Yeah, i guess that's right. Step by step. Learn each of it. I think all i nedd is to uplift my spirit more. I nedd to change this badly. Hope things gets better!
Wish me luck!

pix..pix...pix..

2005-10-24T20:44:00.000+08:00

hahaha...loads huh?..those are my new pix...he-he..
kinareer ko na ata...lol..

ive got nothing to do kya pinagtripan ko ang aking sarili...
i put a lil art on it..in fact mrami pa akong ngwa..kya lng d na xa mgkakasya d2 eh..malalaki kc yung iba...

nweiz, im back to teentalk...its good to be back..
feeling ko kc ilang taon rn akong absent dun..lol..
kakamiss..
so what do u think?
pwede na?
lol.

love is a wonder.

2005-10-21T16:55:00.000+08:00

Love is a wonder.

My mind has been on a riot for days already.
Things just got so f*cked up and im f*ckin' confused about lotsa stuffs.

Why can't i just choose not to love at all or to just teach my heart to love someone else?
It's not that i don't wanna love him, it's just that whatever i do, when i think of it, things just got so riled up and couldn't be right at all.
I couldn't just put things back together as it is before huh?
Even if i want to. Yes, even if i still want to.
I don't know what's happening to me.
This thing, this feeling, the whole thing just came upon me few weeks ago and i think it totally left me out of control.
I thought i was okey. That i was just fine and back to my old self.
But as these thoughts came up to me and i started to re-assess myself, i could certainly conclude that: Hannah Mae isn't okey...not at all. Not even nearing it!urgh!
Hell! It's been...ahhhh!! i don't even wanna start thinking about it again.
I thought..i thought...i was already in love with Steve, but no.
Yes, i love him, in a way coz he's my bestest best friend for god's sake! but whatever we do we couldn't just get pass through the boyfriend and girlfriend stage. We can't, right baby? lol, yeah buddy.
I know, Steve, any moment from now you'll be reading and going through all these stuffs . I think you know these stuffs already.
There was a time, really that i sorta wish we could be more than friends, but then again we can't right? coz i dumped you already! You don't wanna get dumped for the 2nd time around, right baby?LMAO!...awww..that's a joke pipz..I tell you, Stevey boi doesn't get dumped, at all...He's a great guy, cool smart ass, he's pretty good-looking?..hekhek...heck no!..Abby says, he's uber gorgeous! damn! i guess Abby's cross-eyed or something?or she's got eye defects!lol..another j/k! Anyways, so much for the Steve campaign thingy.
Hay! if the heart could just choose. But it can't, too bad...
I didn't even know, didn't f*ckin notice it! That the feelings i have for him, since the day we broke up until now is still here, it continues to grow i think, and i feel that i love him even more. During those days and each pssing day that i didn't have the chance to see him, hold him, talk to him. I think this heart just won't stop loving him. OMG! did i just say that?..ugh! cliche's again!
Don't you think he's one lucky bastard? hell, yeah!
Well, i guess im gonna get stucked up with these feelings and im not gonna get away with it pretty soon.
Loving someone you can't have him share it with or reciprocated is damn hard! I just wish i could continue not thinking about this for a while... and for little mercies be tough.
Geez! Love's complications! The circumstances and stuffs.
Couldn't even start to get those things in this pretty head of mine.
Oh love! cut me some slack!

love letters...

2005-10-11T14:59:00.000+08:00

I read his letters for me...again. Just few seconds before typing this down here i did...
Yeah, those were love letters. Mostly professions of his love and his promises for me.
The only witness during those nights i cry myself to sleep reading it aal over again and got it all wet... pretty pathetic of me right? But no, I wasn't re-reading it to torment and drown myself on my own misery, reliving those days that we were together and stuffs. Yes, i think of it...most of the time i may say but through it, i gained strength to move on. It was my way to get over it. That maybe, just maybe each night that i read it i could learn to accept things slowly, things that didn't turn out best when all i could read of were good things. That things might not have turned out right for the two of us, but when we were together, we had great and happy memories that ill cherish and treasure forever.
I don't know what got me into typing this... All i know is that i didn't get those letters wet this time. I didn't even shed a tear. I know i've moved on, not yet fully i admit but ive gone far already. I know, i haven't fully recovered from our past because for the past 8 months or so, i haven't had another relationship. Now, i know and understand why... Why i couldn't love another guy fully, It's because deep in me, i know, i still wish for us to be together again--- as he promised. And i know, im still holding onto that promise because we haven't ended things rightly, i mean the closure thing. Yeah, thats the term...we parted ways without the proper closure... Man, this feels weird, im turning mushy and stuffs..i think i needed a shrink...oh! but damn right!..i still love him!...shit!...where are all those damn tissues when you need them!

my masseuse is leaving....

2005-10-04T16:45:00.000+08:00

Im so sad right now. Steve's leaving for Hongkong and then to Cali for good.
Yeah, my handsome-conceited-egocentric bestfriend is gonna leave me.
We had this talk knina, about some stuffs. I can't stop laughing this morning.
He was talking like a dumb ass, trying hard to speak the cebuano dialect.
"Aww...Steve--yyy....You're my bestest best friend but you really suck speaking
bisaya so, don't try to hard baby ayt?"..and he was like "aww..baby that hurts.."
he was holding his chest and playing hurt..."you look so cute!" i couldnt help but say
that loudly...His eyes twinkled at ang gunggong feel na feel nmn! he smiled broadly and said..
"really?..what about that twerp dimwit your crushing on?..is he cuter than i am?"
i laughed really hard and said " You conceited oaf!...how could u compare urself to him when he's a god and you look like his slave?" "i do?"..he asked wide-eyed..
"hmm...not really...don' worry, you're just a lesser god" i ended it with a laugh...
he just rolled his eyes.."baby, how could u say that when im the one from Greece and he's that next door american skater?"
"You're not from Greece dumdum...you're half-greek but u ddnt grew up there right?"
"Its the same thing.."" No, its not".."It is"..yun..pra kmeng mga bata..
wlang gustong sumuko..."hay!..kafoy nimo oist...kabalo jud na xa nga ikaduhang crush
ra to nko c Alex..and u know ur the first!..o!..ayaw kakilig!..basig feel ra sad kaau nimo"...
at ang gago nmn!, he was grinning from ear to ear!hay!...it was the best day i ever had...
although we were talking about nonsense stuffs. It was the best!
Im gonna miss you man! No one's gonna give me the best massage when my body aches.
o!..wag mxadong feeling pag mabasa mo to ha?..hehehe...
but really, i really do hope you'll come back...
the gang's gonna miss you...wala na kmeng aasarin...tsk..tsk..
kainis ka!...huhuhuhu..ewan...

awww...everything's goin shit isnt it?

2005-09-23T19:12:00.000+08:00

oh well, haven't had time here again to update the blog. It's been like what?..two weeks?..hell! it is...

anyways, i really am not feeling well today. Got myself so burned out for the past days. I think i drank too much alcohol the other day. Well, yeah... even Shiello felt the same. who wouldn't? geez... they always say "bottom's up!"...and my if u've seen the glass we each are using you'd know why i still am having a hang over til now...tsk...tsk.

awww..my back is achin'...wait..erase that...my whole fweekin' body hurts like hell!..and my throat's becoming a pain in the ass too!..it hurts sooo damn much!..and my voice isnt sounding nearing good...it sucks!...

well i guess this is partly my fault...i was supposed to have my rest the other night but i didn't...well!, dont blame me!..i was feeling giddy yesterday not minding my body aches because i was so excited to watch "Trigun"..yeah...that anime'....60 billion double dollars Vash the Stampede...hehehe...see?...im feeling chessy grinning like that again...the series was awesome!.. it consists of 13 cds so the good and abusive-to-my-health-and-body that i was...i slept at 5 am...yeah..that long huh?...hell yeah!..i only slept for at least 4 hours..but damn!..i dnt mind at all...at least i wanna finish it so i did...until 2 pm this aftie...and then...kablam!..my body's undergoing this dysfuntion again...everything hurts again!..aww...im bawling my eyes out...tryin to actually...heck! im still typing in here...bad girl huh?

i guess..gotta end this..still need to finish some stuffs at my condition right now..

PERFECT

2005-09-04T17:22:00.000+08:00

"Behind These Hazel Eyes"
Seems like just yesterday
You were a part of me
I used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong
Your arms around me tight
Everything, it felt so right
Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong
Now I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright
For once in my life
Now all that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be
Sewn together, but so broken up inside
'Cause I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hangin' on
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
Swallow me then spit me out
For hating you, I blame myself
Seeing you it kills me now
No, I don't cry on the outside
Anymore...
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
Geez..know what?...that song up there really, hmmm..how do i say this?..lemme see...yah...its giving me so much creeps..the song is so much like me...what and who i am and what i feel months ago..(smiles)...well, i dunno..im not so sure about myself lately...ive been trying to open up some things and trying to get over things...you know, some things about me and what's been happening in my life...(thinks)..but i guess, no...i really know, ive been okey already...(lol)what's that all about?...it's as if im trying to convince myself (laughs)...but really, i have been more than okey lately..i get to pick up a little more from those broken pieces and im gonna be okey?..no...perfect..more than perfect..(lol)..nobody's perfect man!..wah...its a first..there's always a first you know...i get to be the first perfect human..(lol)..see?...im almost crazy here talkin' to myself and my conscience...my mind and conscience is on a debate...tsk..tsk..imma stop this...or a minute from now il be in a psych ward (raises eyebrow)...wah!..man!..that cant be! im so sayang if ever da buh!? (laughs)...anyway..i know that thing..that's alway been a cliche`...i know nobody's perfect...but having this feeling in me right now feels almost perfect...no..it's really perfect...tsk..tsk...i know, u don't get what im saying here...i really don't know too..my fingers just kept on pressing the letters in the keyboards...its certainly from here (points out my heart)..yeah...korniks!...(lol)..tama na toh!...oh!..by the way...'twas my birthday few days ago...well...what can i say?..im 19 and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

" two url's"

2005-08-31T14:58:00.000+08:00
hello mga friends!...dlwa na nga pla url ng site na to..i hv my own domain name na! eto: http://hanmae.tk ....for easy access and madaling tandaan...pro okei pa rn yung original..http://kewlhanmaerulez.blogspot.com --- oo! alam ko...astig ang name...hehehe..pro ang haba noh?..pcnxa na...kya nga kumuha ako ng sariling domain...pra astig!...haha..pngalan ko na tlga nkalagay!..chege!..ciao!

im grinning ear to ear!!!

2005-08-29T20:06:00.000+08:00
hey!...im presenting to you my new blog!..this is the new me..an entire new lay out...im soooo happy natapos ko na rn xang i edit...i would like to thank Eiss pla for the blogskins thingy..if not for that...my blog would not look a lot better than the past...thanks!...nweiz, got to go!...

2005-08-19T21:37:00.000+08:00
well, this day isnt so bad as i thought it would be... i mean the week of course... i know,yeah... i hvnet bin writing here for days already... (as usual)... school isnot at its best this time.. got hold of lotsa projects in creative writing...thats why i got so busy.. i hvnt even visited teentalk for three days already... and i miss those stories in creative corner na.. esp "the diary"... ahihihi... i miss fafa Daryll so damn much i wanna cry!...the positive side though is i got all my exams done in juz three days!.... geez!...thank God!..and now, is mah free day!... although i had sum classes in UP... i juz have to recite sum poems though... and pass a writing activity..which ive done for eons already!...hahaha..sooo proud... ahihihi... cnxa... although i really im proud ive done it so early..and so far so good...my profs told me that... not sum classmate or me...mybe il be posting here my "great works" dw....they said so... i really wanna write.. i dunno.. i hvent much practiced my writing ability in high school... i only discovered juz this sem my passion for writing.. mybe because i hv bin a net savvy for the past months... get to see lots of good stuffs in the net.. i mean, i read stories in the net.. and they're good.. really good.. of course they're students too... thats why i tried to write and now, here i am...i suppose i wna become one great writer of a magazine.. like candy or seventeen or cosmo!.. hahaha.. il juz tell the editor to go assign me in the hunk of the month wen i get to be in the cosmo team... ahihih... so that i cud meet lotsa good looking guys and i get to chat with them during the interview... ahihihi....naughty girl!..nweiz, got to go for now... nid to type lotsa stuffs pa..ciao!

= present ma'am! =

2005-08-09T21:57:00.000+08:00
well, i havent bin updating this thing for more or less two weeks... omg! i cant believe this!..i started this thing and i juz got bored sharing my daily stuffs to you (sorry)... well, ive bin busy at skul and im writing lotsa stuffs for my project in creative writing.. geez! my subjects got me squeezin' mah head to let out my so- called vocabularies for my writing career daw!.. ahihihi... nweiz, got myself tied up for a seminar few days from now, il be off to shangrila mactan if my parents wud permit me.. il hav a three day stay in seminar there for my creative writng course sa UP... i guess i wont be going... midterm's coming sooo soon and i aint gonna put my grades down juz for the heck of staying at shangrila!.. my!.. that got me thinkin'! i was hoping juz to even get there for a while.. i wasnt privilege to get in to those five star hotel and check in eventually.. ive bin to waterfront nmn but i juz watched Ogie's concert there... not really stayin'... well, im not stayin up late for now... gotta go home!.. hahaha... my home's away from here(im at the cafe).. its an hour drive pa!.. and it 10 minutes down to ten!... wattdaffakk!!! rily!... hahaha... syet!.. got to go!mwah!!!

--- I AM SO PISSED OFF!..stay outta dis okei!? ---

2005-07-17T22:25:00.000+08:00
i hvent bin updating this thing for few days na.. well... this past few days nga e, wla akoh sa mood... i think im hving this so called "writers block".. err.. feeling writer dw o!?... ahihihi... bsta... iniicp ko lng kc yung novel na nsulat ko before tpos ilang gabi ko na rn blak mgsimula ulit.. of cors wid the same concept.. but.. yeah.. khet anong gwin ko d ko tlga xa masimulan ulet.. kasusulat ko pa lng nwawalan agad me ng gana.. ewan.. nkakainis kc!... naiicp ko na nmn.. kung sana d yun nadelete sa diskette mlamang natapos ko na yun!..isipin nyo ba nmn, 15 pages or so na yung if id print it... e, ang haba kya nun?..syet tlaga!.. pramiz... tpos bad trip pa tlaga akoh khapon at nung isang araw... e, may bwesit ba nmng tumabi sa'kin sa jeep!?... ay diyos ko po! sobrang kabadtripan na to!.. tlga!.. e ang presko kya!.. at mxadong insensitive!... if not to my good manners e, malamang nasapak o nasabihan ko na yun ng d mganda!... e, kitang kita kya sa mukha ko na d ko feel mkpgkilala!.. khet ba medyo cute xa e, wla tlga ako sa mood nun.. e, sbi ko nga, insensitive xa d ba?... e d yun ask nya name koh.. pinipigilan ko lng tlga sarili kong wg sabihing, "bket?.. d pa ba sapat yang pangalan mo sau?..e meron ka nmn jan e, mkuntento ka, okei?".. chus!.. ewan.. pro binigay ko nlng.. e, xempre badtrip ako e, d ko tinanggap kamay nya.. at least d ba i gave him my name.. napansin nya ata na d ko tinanong in return yung name nya e, he gave his name nlng.. e d okei...mabulsa nga... pra may extra name ako kung may mnghingi ulet.. yun.. tumahimik uli xa.. kc.. ngmumuni2 pa rn ako nun e.. alam nyo na.. ayoko nang may umeepal pg moment koh.. e, alam ko nmn na d tlga maipinta yung face ko dat nyt.. mukhang pngbagsakan ng langit at lupa kumbaga... e , kung d ba nmn tlga mkafal ang face ng lalaking yun e, ano na kya twag sa knya kung hiningi nya number koh!?.. hay!.. help me please.. ayoko ng may kausap!.. insensitive jerk tlga!.. pro yeah..according to the kewlness left in me , e patawarin muna tong epal na ito d2..kya yun, giv ko yung number kong mali2... bsta...yun tumahimik xa.. tpos salita na nmn.. tanong2... tango lng ako.. d ko tlga feel e... tapos bgla nlng bnigay sken yung papel na hawak nya... pg tingin ko,e toink!.. nkasulat dun yung number nya...! .. syet!.. sbi nya, panigurado dw.. kung may tym dw ako e, itxt ko dw xa... hay!..dkilang tanga tlga!... ewan.. buti nlng...according to ms. manners uli e, i kept it inside my bag nlng and smiled at him(plastic pa nga e...)....nung medyo malapit na akong dumating sa destinasyon ko, i passed him my fare.. then he asked me, "asa dw to gikan han?" huh!?...hay!.. e umandar yung pgkamaldita at pgkapilosopa ko so i said... "asa pa mn d.i, d sa bulsa?"..yun!.. imbes na mainis e, tumawa pa.. ewan.. pra tlga xang ewan.. pro imferness, ang kyut nyang tumawa ha... hay!.. medyo nwala yung pgkabadtrip ko... yun.. after nun e, tanong pa rn xa ng tanong.. e , medyo okei na ako kya cnasagot ko na ng maayos... hanggang sa kelangan na nga nyang bumaba.. e, di yun.. i said bahbye..ngsorry pa ang kumag kc d dw xa nkabayad ng pmasahe para sken.. huh?!.. d pa nmn kme close ah?.. bhala nga xa.. i said okei lng.. and then smiled..hay!.. at least medyo okei na ako nun.. next tym ko na kwento yung iba... im sleepy na e... ahihihi...*hingal*... tingnan nyo na... kung ngsasalita lng ako e, sobrang spontaneous ko na.. wlang hinto yung kamay ko sa pgtatype... hay... im sleepy na.. til next tym...tsk..tsk... loggin' off..

<<< da weekend >>>

2005-07-11T20:50:00.000+08:00
hei yah guyz!!!... i had a so not kewl weekend.. but it was okei nonetheless... last saturday night, i watched mah friend shiello through the catwalk... yeah... *clap* *clap* *clap*... hooray!!!!!... yeah... she was joining this contest... a beauty contest at that... the show was between fab and boring but it was okei.. yeah... okei... mah friend may hv not won the title but she got an award for her smile!..*grins*..yeah... "Ms. Photo Album"... hahahaha...*lol*... kipling calls her that... ahihihi.. yeah.. she grab the Ms. Photogenic award though... congrats!... ms. shiello rodrigo!... oi! wafa! starring u dri ha!.. ahihihi... so much fo smiles... imma laugh nlng... ahihihi... btw... and sunday... i wasnt able to go to church... oh dearie! wat can i say!? im a bad girl! so slap me!... hahahaha.. yeah... wasnt able to... i woke up at the wrong side of the bed i think... i wasnt feeling well pa coz u know... i had this "girl thing" that day... err.. too bad... and today.. well... juz the same thing... same routinary thing... the skul was juz soooo full of students lining up at the accounting section to pay for the exams.. yeah... havent paid yet... im poor u know... im begging anyone out there who are filthy rich... please share ur blessings to the needy like me... text or kol me ayt!?.. ( 092174*****)... yeah... thats it!... ahihihi..jowk ra oist... pro if u wna share..sure!... hahahaha... well.. gotta log off... im tired.... gotta study fo mah exams tomorrow..wish me luck okei!?.. lab u all!!! mwahugzzzz..... buzzin' off...

~ sooooooooo hApPy! ~

2005-07-08T11:16:00.000+08:00

yep..i am sooo happy... kc i found the title of the song i luv from the movie "A LOT LIKE LOVE" ..yeah.. sa wakas! hahaha... classic song kc xa..thats why hirap hanapin..well, here's the lyrics.. and a bonus image of Kutcher and Peet while singing the song (from the Movie) ... and i added one of Bon Jovi's greatest hits too... and its from the movie rn... ahihihi..well, here it goes..

IF YOU LEAVE ME NOW (Chicago)

If you leave me now
You’ll take away the biggest part of me
Oo, oo, oo, no, baby, please don’t go
And if you leave me now
You’ll take away the very heart of me
Oo, oo, oo, no, baby, please don’t go
Oo, oo, oo, girl, I just want you to stay

A love like ours is love that’s hard to find
How could we let it slip away ?
We’ve come too far to leave it all behind
How could we end it all this way ?
When tomorrow comes and we both regret
The things we said today

A love like ours is love that’s hard to find
How could we let it slip away ?
We’ve come too far to leave it all behind
How could we end it all this way ?
When tomorrow comes and we both regret
The things we said today

If you leave me now
You’ll take away the biggest part of me
Oo, oo, oo, no, baby, please don’t go
Oo, oo, girl, I’ve just got to have you by my side
Oo, oo, oo, no, baby, please don’t go
Oo, ah, ah, I’ve just got to have you, girl

I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU (Bon Jovi)

I guess this time you're really leaving
I heard your suitcase say goodbye
Well as my broken heart lies bleeding
You say true love is suicide
You say you've cried a thousand rivers
And now you're swimming for the shore
You left me drowning in my tears
And you won't save me anymore
I'm praying to God you'll give me one more chance girl

I'll be there for you, these five words I swear to you
When you breathe, I wanna be the air for you
I'll be there for you
I'd live and I'd die for you
I'd steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can't say what love can do
I'll be there for you

I know you know we've had some good times
Now they have their own hiding place
Well I can promise you tomorrow
But I can't buy back yesterday
And baby you know my hands are dirty
But I wanted to be your Valentine
I'll be the water when you get thirsty baby
When you get drunk, I'll be the wine

I'll be there for you, these five words I swear to you
When you breathe I wanna be the air for you
I'll be there for you
I'd live and I'd die for you
I'd steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can't say what love can do
I'll be there for you

I wasn't there when you were happy
And I wasn't there when you were down
Didn't mean to miss your birthday baby
I wish I'd seen you blow those candles out

I'll be there for you, these five words I swear to you
When you breathe I wanna be the air for you
I'll be there for you
I'd live and I'd die for you
I'd steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can't say what love can do
I'll be there for ...

I'll be there for you, these five words I swear to you
When you breathe I wanna be the air for you
I'll be there for you
I'd live and I'd die for you
I'd steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can't say what love can do
I'll be there for you ...

" F-u-N aNd F-u-L-L "

2005-07-06T20:31:00.000+08:00
OMG!!! yesterday kipz and i stroll around E mall to find sum thing interesting.. kakasawa na kc sa metro and sm...so we decided to go there to mke "hasik lagim" and stuffs... the "naughty" girl that we are, we went around boy hunting!.. geez..yah.. there are lots of them there in the fodcurt.. those guyz in white uniforms geez!.. are sooooooo damn hooooooooootttttttttt!!!!!!! well, i know, i know... not all of them... but there are a bunch of them there!... i almost forgot i was depressed!!! hahahaha... yeah.. i was.. u know becuz of that damn diskette... we were supposed to watch "war of the worlds" with lyndon but we got hooked there so we decided to sing our hearts out and got ourselves in the videoke section... yep!... we sang!!! hahahaha... and guess wat!... 2 kyut guyz were there and stayed with us!... lol.. blame it to kipling... hahaha... she's really into those stuffs.... ahihihi.. yeah..mind u, but they we're really kyut.. they would'nt even beliv we're two yrs older than them.. they're freshies... ahihihi.. yeah... child abuse daw... hahahaha... but hu cares?.. we wudnt dare ask them to be our boyfriends nmn e! kau tlga!... hahaha.. i really had fun... yep as in F U N!...

today.. well, after the usual whole day classes in USJ-R and UP... i ate really a lot today! as in a lot!... well, i had a pretty great breakfast.. and lunch!? oh yeah!.. we ate at carbon (shiello, carla, lyndon, kipling and me)... got mahself a nice meal! goodness! i burped a lot this day!.. after that lunch, we went to hv the mid afternun snacks..."pinoy style" naman... me and kifles usually hv our "painit" (yeah..common name for that so called snack for the cebuanos)....during MWF sa Pasil.. yep.. we're cowgirls u know.. we dont choose were we eat! as long our stomach's goin to be full... we satisfied ourselves wid sum puto and sikwate (that cocoa thingy..or hot chocolate bah twag jan!?..ewan.. bsta masarap!)...after that, we ate na nmn... after kifles last class we hd sum tempura sa kilidz2 sa san jo.. yeah.. with matching softdrinks... hahahaha... my bituka's really happy today id say... they're full of food.... great!.. tumataba na tlga akoh!..tumatkaw pa!... hahahaha.. ewan... bsta... ive got one word in mah mind today..."sarap"...

~ grrrrrrrr....wat da hell!? ~

2005-07-04T13:28:00.000+08:00
grrrrrrrrrr..... can i just be a lion!? just this once!!!!!!!??????????..... i feel really bad......... as in!... huhhuhuuhuhu... faksyet au oist!... i lost all the files saved on my diskette!.. wats d saddest thing about it!?.. duh!... the first 4 chaps of the novel i created was there!... huhuhuuuhu.. its almost fifteen pages!.. and now, i feel very wretched!.. i couldnt even remmber all those lines in there!!!!!!!!!! huhuhuhuh.. kainis tlga!.. wat am i supposed to pass for my creative writing workshop now!?... huhuhuhuh.. its not that easy pa nmn to write those stuffs.... and thnk about those lines..... the pc be damned!.. now, imma write sumthing new na nmn! huhuhuhu... sbi pa nmn nung nkabasa na ng novel na yun, mganda dw!.... huhuhuhuhu.......... i wna cry..... i lost Adonis Brent MOntes and Sibyl Courtney Santillan's story!!!!!!!!!!! huhuhuhu!...... goodness! i thot of those characters very well pa nmn! tpos andun lhat nung files!!! bwesit sa lahat ng kbwesitan!... kelangan ba tlgang ganun!?.. huhuhuhu.. i dont feel like writing anymore! i lost my masterpiece! ahhhhhhhhh......... ive had lots of sleepness nyts juz typing those stuffs until 5 AM or even 6 AM!.. great! its just great!.. those efforts i spent are juz dump to waste!... i was sooooooooo happy pa nmn!....... huhuhu...now!?.. geez! dont ask!..... i myt eat u!!!!!!!!!!

~ rAnTiNgS fRoM a CoNfUsEd MiNd ~

2005-07-01T21:40:00.000+08:00
about me!?... yep!..seen it in friendster, hipster, hi5, myspace... ask by my friends, classmates, teachers, and myself..yeah..me...do u pipol know that this question really freaks me out?... hell yeah! why!?... shud that be ask!?... its one difficult thing describing one's self... esp. that most of us, in our age, d pa mxado nkikila mga sarili natin... im on the age that teens seem to get to know her real self... its like being in the midst of watching hilary duff movies or watching the sex and the city series... *lol*... yeah... im torn between juz being a "teen".. in the real sense of it.. or trying to be more mature and act like a lady welcoming adulthood... but hey!... im no coward! even though i felt like eating a lump of a very bitter "bittergourd"..id still answer this damn question... okei!?... i luv questions that squeezes my brain to its limit!... one thing that wud describe me best is that, i go for wat i want.. i dont care wat other pipol think of me... im at no position minding them myself... so, the least pipol shud do is minding owns business... and there wud be world peace!!!! hahahaha... yeah... talk about Sandra Bullock and the gang in Miss congeniality.. those gurls juz seem to know one thing.. World peace!.. tsk.. tsk... im sure they dont hv that peace inside themselves.. so, how cum---....weyt... wat am i saying!?... sorry... yeah.. back to business.. im usually as they say the happy go lucky type of person... not buggling my mind wid every1's dilemma.. carrying the world behind them.. urgh!..arent they thinking Atlas is one big guy!?he cn tke care bringing the world up on his shoulders... i dnt share it with him.. i dnt wna be grumpy.. geez! dont wna look old at a young age of course... i always cheer up... looks at the bright side... thinks postive... never quit... cuz i beliv that only the tough cn get going wen the going gets tough... yeah.. a motto... that's wat all my experiences taught me... i mybe a lot of things but definitely not "weak".. im a tough girl and i know wen to speak of courage... (copycat! geez...thats Megara's line in Hercules... luv that!)...

yeah... i am one of those brought up by Walt Disney.. seen lotsa fairytales like kids until now..those are the things that keep me from my childhood and i do luv to reminisce them til now... the thought of having Mr. Prince Charming himself one day is still here... planted in the child in me... but now, if we talk about sense, id luv to have my very own miracle like Jamie Elizabeth Sullivan having Landon Carter for herself... she might have died but i know her heart is full of contentment and love... i wna be like her in so many ways... she has changed the person she loves and brings out the best in him... that, i know wud really make me feel good and proud...hay! so much for being a dramatic teen queen and so much for confusions.... nweiz, i got here sum lyrics of a song i luv...

Standing at the edge of the earth
Blessid Union Of Souls

I knew that this moment would come in time
That I'd have to let go and watch you fly
I know you're coming back so why am I dying inside

Are you searching for words that you can't find
Trying to hide your emotions but eyes don't lie
Guess there's no easy way to say goodbye

So I'll be standing at the edge of the earth
Hoping that someday you'll come back again
I'll be standing at the edge of the earth hoping for someday

Don't misunderstand what I'm trying to say
I don't want to let you leave this way
I want you know that I'll stand right by your side

And I know this may be
The very last time that we see each other cry
But whatever happens know that I'll...

I'll be standing at the edge of the earth
Hoping that one day you'll come back again
I'll be standing at the edge of the earth hoping that someday
You'll come back to me
I'll be praying for whatever it's worth
Believing that one day you'll come back to me

I'll be standing at the edge of the earth
Hoping for someday

And I know this may be
The very last time that we see each other cry
But whatever happens know that I'll...
I'll be standing at the edge of the earth
Hoping that one day you'll come back again
I'll be standing at the edge of the earth hoping that someday
You'll come back to me
I'll be praying for whatever it's worth
Believing that one day you'll come back to me
I'll be standing at the edge of the earth
Hoping for someday
Waiting for someday
Believing in someday
Praying for someday, I'll be...
Longing for someday
Clinging to someday
Cherishing someday,

I'll be... Thinking of someday Dreaming of someday
Wishing for someday, I'll be...
Living for someday C
ounting on someday
Knowing that one day...
I will see you...

--- a Lot LiKe LoVe ---

2005-07-01T10:58:00.000+08:00
geez!..this movie is great!... i had sooooo much fun watching it... yep!.. i had lotsa laughs... ohhh... so much for romance... hahahah... but really... romantic comedy movie suckers should watch this... its theme is like being in luv at the wrong place and time... yeah... they had different "wants"... they dont live on the same state... Peet has a boyfriend and Kutcher had his share of girlfriends too.. they first met at the airport and had sum "making out" on the plane.. of course, with Peet initiating it!.. *lol*... yeah, sbi nyo pa... girls are becoming aggressive nowadays.. thank god! i am not one of them!..hahaha... am i not!?... ahihihi... other than that first meeting, they only meet wen one of them has a problem to share (mostly about their juz fresh break up).... bsta.. thats it...ahihi.. they share a few kisses (hahaha..few daw!... )..yeah... u know.. movies like this doesnt go to the big screen without sum love scenes... ( lol.. im becoming naughty!)... and then after almost 7 years of unnamed and unnoticed realtionship that they hv..the come and go charade has finally ended... with Peet realizing she loves Kutcher!...

well, there are a lot of nice scenes in the movie.. the best for me was wen Kutcher sang that Bon Jovi 90's classic i guess... the song ILL BE THERE FOR YOU.. my!... that was soooo romantic! although he doesnt really sing great! his charms work!.. he got me!.. hahahaha... the songs from the movie were awesome!... another favorite scene was wen they got themselves photographed nude together!... guess where!?.. it was one night at a Nat'l Park!... hahahha... mga wlang hiya!..ahihi.. d nmn... awwww!!!! how sweet!.. hahaha.. u cud guess wat happens next!... geez.. bad!.. very bad hannah!... if u wna know more about this movie and otha stuffs... i got u here a link--- http://lotlikelove.com...

*jUz NutHiN*

2005-06-30T21:57:00.000+08:00
yep..really nothing!... of course i am kidding!... yeah.. i had a not so great day today... but i had a few good laughs wid sum friends... (of course wid the heartbreakers)... and sang a few songs in the videoke-han sa sm... yeah... i sing.. *lol*... too bad...everybody sings naman da bah!?... ahihihi... nweiz, i finished reading a certain novel titled "the bachelor" ...click this link if u wna know more about the novel...http://http://www.carlyphillips.com/the_bachelor.html --- this is Roman Chandler and Charlotte Bronson's story...

this novel is pretty gud... Of course! who wudnt wna marry a Chandler guy!?.. geez... the man is a bad boy... and i really really luv the caption of the novel... it says: ' WILL THIS BAD BOY MAKE IT TO THE ALTAR!? '... yeah... he made it!!! hahahhaha... lucky Charlotte( the heroine of the story)... i guess il juz find my Chandler man myself.. its pretty interesting having to meet the bad boy, the playboy and the heartbreaker... its a series pla... but i hvent read the other two... i mean the playboy and the heartbreaker..but if u wna read the excerpt do click this...

http://http://www.carlyphillips.com/the_heartbreaker.html ---this is Chase Chandler and Sloane Carlisle's story...
http://www.carlyphillips.com/the_playboy.html ---this is Rick Chandler and Kendall Sutton's story...

nweiz, i hope tomorrow's gonna be a great day for me... esp at skul of cors!...

' bEtWeEn DiNneR aNd ThE mOrNinG aFtER '

2005-06-22T13:26:00.000+08:00

For Abi, the main character of Between Dinner and the Morning After, the latest read from Summit Books, love's path is a forked road. One leads to the stereotypical "Mr. Right" - kind, handsome and successful, with a beautiful engagement ring to boot, while the other gives way to a former love, a casual relationship she can't even put a status on because they were never together in the first place. He sends her e-mail from the U.S. recounting his enduring quest to find her, complete with insinuations of possibly rekindling old flames. Even after eight years, this guy still makes her heart skip a beat. Naturally, she can't have both. So what's a girl to do?

In the midst of juggling her career as an assistant interior designer to an eccentric, high maintenance boss, Abi shifts from the past to the present and back, awaiting to discover her heart's desire. Surrounded by five newfound friends, Abi has to reassess the past few years of her life and decide whether to settle for her okay life with current flame Cris, or fight for the possibility of eternal love with someone she hasn't seen in almost a decade.

Find out what happens when the past makes a comeback from Summit Books' latest novel Between Dinner and the Morning After!

EXCERPT

"The entire whale-watching trip was spent taking pictures of themselves from the deck because the dolphins refused to come out and play. And because the day's entertainment was incomplete without the dolphins, Cris's college buddies and their girlfriends suggested dinner and drinks at North Pole, along Rizal Boulevard in Dumaguete.

'Er, do we really have to go with them?' Abi had asked.

'Yes, we need to make an appearance.'

'An apperance? Can I just skip it?'

'Hon, they'll think we're fighting. You have to be there, we're a couple.'

'What?'

'It's the proper thing.' The discussion had ended. He smiled sheepishly. 'And hon, your shorts are a little too short, please change them. Thanks, hon.'

At North Pole, Abi found that nothing had changed in the small pub. Framed by floral curtains, the large windows looked out into the same boulevard and its row of gnarly trees and into the sea. The darkened sea was still dotted here and there by yellow lights from fishing boats.

Eight years ago, Juno kissed her full on the mouth in a devilish attempt to shock a group of elderly people who were having coffee at the next table. Abi had been shocked, but the old people smiled sweetly, tilted their heads, and said, 'Awww.'

She remembered the way the old people - visitors from Manila - clapped when, after his evil agenda had backfired, Juno told them that they were on a honeymoon. The tourists even bought them a round of beer."

---yeah.. im done reading this.. another "quite-not-wat-i-expected-dilemma"... but its good enough...

ViNcE's LiFe

2005-06-21T21:11:00.000+08:00

ive read this book mga early april although it came out in the market early january pa... its one of the must reads fo those pipol hu are sort of a closet romantic... its nice and kinda different cuz guy kc ang writer.. and its but unusual for a guy to write sum sweet stuffs and tell em'.. basta this one is different.. id bet it'll mke u fall in love wid the writer.. lol... bsta.. here's a teaser by the way.....

There's Something About Andrea

"So why Andrea?" Spider asked me. "I mean, aside from the obvious."

Spider was playing devil's advocate, as always. He took a giant gulp from his beer-his third since lunch began-then a giant bite from the chicken in front of him. Beer and grease trickled down his chin and seeped into three days' worth of stubble. My best friend was never much to look at when he was eating. Despite this, girls went crazy over him. I always assumed it was his bad-boy appeal. Besides, most of them had never seen him eat.

I was stumped, and it was driving me absolutely crazy. It was always the most obvious things that were the most difficult to explain. I liked Andrea. I was crazy about her, mad about her, positively kookoo. It was so obvious I felt like I was wearing a neon sign on my head. A thousand reasons tried to get from my brain, my gut and my heart and then get out of my mouth, but nothing came out. Undoubtedly they had all gotten stuck in traffic.

"She completes me," I almost said, complete with sign language. But no, I didn't want any comparisons with Jerry Maguire, or Austin Powers' Dr. Evil for that matter. Even if she did do that completing business.

"Because she makes me want to be a better man," I wanted to say. But no Jack Nicholson for me. The line seemed to come up short somehow. As killer one-liners go, that just couldn't be as good as it gets.

The silence on my end of the conversation dragged on. My mouth was hanging open as I tried to force the words I wanted to say to come out. You want the truth, Spider? You can't handle the truth!

"When I first saw her," I told Spider without the aid of snappy lines, "I was floored. Because she's beautiful. Everyone knows she's beautiful. And I dismissed her as just another pretty face. You know, one of those nice girls with nothing special about them whatsoever. Of course, I wanted her. That's the easy part.

"Then one afternoon, I made up some flimsy excuse to talk to her, hiding behind the pretense of school work. I found myself enchanted by the way she bites her lip, and the way she touches you when she talks, small things like that. By the time we finished talking it was evening already, and I still wanted to go on talking to her. That's when I realized that this girl was something special, that she was like no one else I knew… that she was simply wonderful. She was smart and funny, and that turns me on more than anything about her. I like her because she's a little kooky. I like her because she's stubborn. I like her because she can be such a bitch. I like her because she laughs too loud.

"After that I'd go out of my way every day to 'bump into her by accident.' I was practically stalking her, Spider! I made more excuses to talk to her, and the excuses just got flimsier and flimsier. Now I feel like I'll die if I don't talk to her every day-me, Mr. I-Don't-Need-Anyone. I don't know what it is, she just flows in kindness and beauty, overflows, and fills me. She's a part of me."

Spider stared at me for a full five seconds without saying anything. Was he going to laugh? Was he going to throw his food at me? Finally, he put his spoon and fork down with an amused smile playing across his face, and said, "I don't believe this! You don't like her, man. You love her already. I don't believe this."

I figured it was the neon sign on my head that gave me away again.